Predictions: Week 12 – Minnesota Vikings at Green Bay Packers

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Sad Christian Ponder

Sad Christian Ponder

Shawn: Anyone interested in top flight football should steer clear this week as the swiss cheese Green Bay Packers take on the sad sack Minnesota Vikings.

The Packers have finally found an opponent whose quarterback is just as bad as theirs, or worse, and whose defense has just as many holes.

I expect the Vikings to stick with the now familiar game plan — run the football, throw conservatively, play it safe, get the lead and force the Packers offense to win the game.

It concerns me that the Packers are beginning to struggle against the run, and now Adrian Peterson comes to town. However, what doesn’t concern me is that Chistian Ponder has been absolutely terrible at Lambeau Field, and anyone anywhere near these parts knows it is going to be COLD tomorrow — cold, and likely windy.

Even with the injuries being what they are, I still think adverse conditions help the Packers more than the Vikings.

I think the Packers get their running game going a little this week, and Scott Tolzien should take another step forward. If Tolzien can convert around 40 percent on third down and keep his interceptions at one or less, the Packers should be able to win this one, which will keep them alive in the division for at least one more week.

Packers 20, Vikings 16

Monty: As shitty as this game is, it should have been on Thursday Night Football. Isn’t that where the NFL puts all of its shitty games?

Green Bay Packers vs. Minnesota Vikings. Can’t remember the last time I wasn’t excited about that matchup. However, the Packers have managed to make me not excited about it this year.

And Greg Jennings is coming back to town. So I should at least be fired up for that clown to eat a fat dick.

Instead, my excitement level is kind of like the Packers’ play and sense of urgency.

Ho fucking hum.

Anyway, these two shitty teams are going to play nonetheless and somehow, one of them will win the game. Frankly, if it’s the Vikings, I’ll jump off the goddam 110 overpass like Tony Scott did.

It’s true that the Packers are awful on defense. Like, not historically awful like they were in 2011, but just regular old awful. Not fundamentally sound awful. How do guys make it to the NFL who aren’t able to tackle or cover? I really have no idea. Maybe because Ted Thompson evaluates them?

Anyway, all of those guys play for the Packers, except for the ones who are on the Jaguars.

Fortunately, Thompson’s team is facing Rick Speilman’s team and he’s the only guy in the league who can give Big Ted a run at finding guys who suck. I mean, he drafted Christian Ponder, who has proven again and again that he couldn’t lead your Pop Warner team to a victory. And I’m talking about right now, when he’s in his 20s, if he were playing against a bunch of kids who were 8.

Will Ponder make the Packers defense look good?

No. I’m convinced no one can do that, except maybe a bunch of 8-year-olds.

What he will do is a hell of a lot of nothing — not complete passes, not make plays, not score points — which will allow the Packers to eke out a win.

Meanwhile, Scott Tolzien will do just enough. In fact, he’ll throw for 300 yards because the Vikings secondary is just as bad as Ponder, possibly worse. Even worse than the Packers secondary, if you can believe that.

And somehow the Packers will get into the end zone. Probably in some sort of fluky way — like a swing pass to Andrew Quarless or a Johnathan Franklin run on his only carry of the game.

In any case, expect nothing but sheer excitement.

Packers 17, Vikings 10

About The Author

Shawn Neuser attended UWGB and lives and works in Green Bay. He enjoys long walks on the beach and being intimate with game film.

15 Comments on "Predictions: Week 12 – Minnesota Vikings at Green Bay Packers"

  1. E. Wolf

    The Packers are NOT a shitty team. They are a team reduced to their third string, off the practice squad QB, with the rest of their starting lineup currently comprised of 2nd and 3td stringers.
    NO team–NO TEAM–can expect to compete in those circumstances.

  2. Ivomitonvikingfans

    Watching this will be like going to the mall with your mother in law. My only prediction is Masthay will punt 37 times and become the 43rd Packer this year to fuck up his hamstring. What’s the over under on dropped passes and alligator arms? What a fucking horror show.

  3. Vijay

    Mr Wolf cracks me up…deny, deny, deny. Again, all of the smart people who follow the Packers knew that Ted’s poor draft choices would one day be exposed for exactly what they are…poor.

    We (the skeptics) feel vindicated now that the shine of an MVP QB is no longer there to gleem our way into the playoffs again (albeit briefly).

    We tried Ted’s system, it doesn’t “sustain” or as MM likes to put it “stack” success…

    Packers finally get off the snide and win this one going away?

  4. Chester Marcol's Glasses

    As bad as the Vikings are with Chris Ponder, the Vikings are capable of putting up 30 points against this weakened Packer defense. They put up 31 points against the Packers in Minnesota, so they’ll at least put up something in the high 20s. So the question becomes, can the Packers score at least 30 points to win this game? Tolzien hasn’t showed he can score more than one TD a game.

    There’s a chance Peterson’s injury is worse than he is leading on and if he doesn’t play or plays poorly then the Packers have a chance.

    Vikes will win this one in a painful, ugly, season ending game. Vikings 24-16.

  5. Dick Trickle "33"

    It is so cold out today that I put the over/ under on injuries sustained by the Packers at 5. Hamstrings at 3.

  6. Richard Cranium

    Who is hurt on the defense? Casey Hayward who has sucked since he got back? They are shitty and until they get new players or fire their coordinator the team will remain shitty. The d has hurt this team for too long fuck Dom.. Send his ass Packing! I hate to admit 33-24 vikes

  7. cd4packers

    I would not be surprised on bit if the ViQueens won this game. Right now they are not hindered much as far as injuries go. They pretty much have their full starting squad ready to play. Yah, Ponder can suck it up bad, but sometimes he actually comes to play football. My concern it as others have indicated….the running game that the Vikes will throw our way. No doubt it is going to be all AP today. And if the Vikings are smart, they will have Ponder using his legs as well. If Ponder decides to man up and take some chances, we could be in trouble. Our defense has not given me much to be hopeful about. They have been pretty disappointing to say the least. I wish it were not so, but unless Tolzien plays strong and our defense kicks in, Vikes could take this one. It will not be a runaway imo…the score will be close in the end. I am going to give it to the Pack though and pray they come through on the W side. 24-17 Pack.

  8. Arcturus

    “…and somehow, one of them will win the game.” Nope, these two cadres of losers even managed to fuck that up.

  9. K.L.

    Disappointed to see that Monty hasn’t posted a post-game rant, at least not yet. I like reading those after the games.

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