We’re Giving Away the House and Some Donald Driver Books!

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In honor of Minnesota Vikings week and of us being awesome in general, we’ve got a bunch of stuff to give away, including copies of Green Bay Packers all-time leading receiver Donald Driver’s book, Driven.

So, let’s start there.

You can buy it or read more about it by clicking on the link above or you can try to win one from us. We’ve got four copies to give away. Four!

We’ve also got a copy of Sports Illustrated’s Green Bay Packers book, Green, Gold and Glory. It’s pretty badass and it can be yours!

Same deal. Click the link for more.

So now, the particulars. To win, you can do one of two things.

Since we’re playing the Vikings this week and the Bears next week, you can leave a Vikings’ or Bears’ joke in the comments. If we find one of them particularly funny, you win.

If you’re lazy, don’t know any Bears’ or Vikings’ jokes or someone already posted the one you wanted to post, you can just Tweet out this post with the headline and the hashtag #Packers and then put the link to the Tweet in the comments.

We’ll allow new entries until Halloween.

Go at it!

The winners were:

  • Kristin
  • Joe
  • E. Wolf
  • Chris
  • Seamus


About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

23 Comments on "We’re Giving Away the House and Some Donald Driver Books!"

  1. Peter

    What’s the difference between jay cutler’s vagina and kristin cavallari’s?
    When she tears her vagina at least a baby comes out

    My best viking joke is :
    2013 Quarterback depth chart
    J. Freeman
    C. Ponder
    M. Cassel

  2. Seamus

    Not a Vikings joke, but…

    Why don’t Minnesota fathers let their daughters date Wisconsin boys?
    -Have you seen a gopher hole once a badger gets done with it?

  3. jason

    What does Minnesota have in common with J. Freeman, M. Cassel, and C. Ponder? The state blows and the other three suck!

  4. E. Wolf

    Why are the Vikings purple?

    Because they always choke./ Because they

    What does a Viking fan do after winning the Super Bowl?

    Turn off Madden

    What does a wrecked car and the Minnesota Vikings have in common?

    Neither has a title!

    What is the difference between a bucket of shit and an Minnesota Vikings fan?

    The bucket.

  5. Will M

    Q: Knock Knock
    A: Who’s there?
    Q: Interupting Vikings Cow.
    A: Interrupting Vikings Cow W-

  6. The Weez

    What does Minnesota, Iowa, and Illinois have in common? They are still waiting for a pro football team.

  7. Lee

    Why do the Minnesota Vikings want to change their name to the Atlanta Tampons?
    Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!

    Where do you go in Minneapolis in case of a tornado?
    The Metrodome – they never get a touchdown there!

    In what way are Vikings fans and Bears fans like beer bottles?
    They’re all empty from the neck up!

  8. Phatgzus

    After this season the Metrodome will no longer host football “games” (massacres more like), but have no fear Minisodans! For the city of Minneapolis is going to convert your beloved, ahem stadium into a public pool, by filling the caved in roofs with, you guessed it, Minisoda’s most beloved pet food/grade-A meat concoction-Hormel Chili! What was once the “House that Hormel Built” will now be the world’s largest (and only) public pool, spa, and cafeteria. Feel free to come down and bathe, eat, and add Hormel’s Secret Ingredient to your heart’s content.

  9. Joe

    What do the Vikings and opossums have in common?
    -Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

    Have you heard the about the new Vikings cellphone?
    -It sucks, all it does is vibrate…it has NO RING!!

    How do you stop a Vikings fan from beating his wife?
    -Dress her in green and gold.

    What is the difference between a Vikings fan and a carp?
    -One is a bottom feeding scum sucker the other one is a fish

    Why can’t the vikings have an official website
    -They can’t string 3 W’s together

  10. Scott

    Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Someone coming from Australia to see the Packers play the Vikings and the bears for their first two packers games ever!

    Someone coming from Australia to see the Packers play the Vikings and the bears for their first two packers games ever Who?


    Ok, it’s not actually a joke… But I’m super excited to se the packers for the first time tonight and then again at Lambeau next week!!!

  11. NDPackerBacker

    Q: How do you stop an Chicago Bears fan from beating his wife?
    A: Dress her in Packers Green and Yellow!

  12. NDPackerBacker

    Q: Why do the Chicago Bears want to change their name to the Chicago Tampons? A: Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!

  13. Dusty

    Q: Did you hear the new penalty for speeding in Illinois?

    A: On the first offense they give you Bears tickets, and on the second offense, they make you use them.

  14. Dusty

    A teacher tells her class that she is a Bears fan and wants everyone to wear a Bears jersey to school for Bears appreciation day. They all agreed but one little girl shows up with a Packers #12 jersey on. The teacher goes up to the little girl and says what is this? The girl replies that she is a Packers fan. The teacher asks her if her parents are aware of this and the girl replies, yes they are Packer fans as well. The furious teacher blurts out, “well if your dad is and idiot and your mom is a moron….then what would you be”? I guess I’d be a Bears fan then!

  15. Joe

    A man goes to the Chicago Bears ticket office and inquires about purchasing playoff tickets. The ticket teller replies that there weren’t any tickets for sale because the Bears did not make it to the playoffs.

    The following day the same man goes to the Chicago Bears ticket office and asks about purchasing Bear play-off tickets. The ticket teller politely replies that there weren’t any tickets for sale because the Bears did not make the playoffs.

    This goes on for an entire week. The man goes to the Bears ticket office inquiring about playoffs tickets and the teller says none are for sale because the Bears did not make it to the playoffs.

    Another week of this goes by and the man still is asking the ticket teller about Bears playoffs tickets. Finally the ticket teller in a loud voice says, I’VE TOLD YOU FOR THE LAST 2 WEEKS THERE ARE NOT ANY TICKETS AVAILABLE BECA– — USE THE THE BEARS DID NOT MAKE THE PLAYOFFS!!!!

    The man replied, “I know.” I drive all the way from Green Bay just to hear you say that!

  16. Joe


    Chicago police reported that some individual attempted to egg Head Coach Marc Trestman’s house last night.

    The Chicago Police Report stated:

    An empty egg carton was recovered at the scene. Two eggs hit Mr. Trestman’s house, 3 eggs went over his house and hit his neighbor’s back door, 2 eggs hit the houses of each of his next-door neighbors, and the remaining 3 eggs were found broken on the ground near the carton from where the individual threw them. Looking at what was hit, police officials say they are considering QB Jay Cutler as the primary suspect.

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