Maybe You Care About the Green Bay Packers Uniforms…

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Green Bay Packers uniforms -- best ever?

Green Bay Packers uniforms -- best ever?

We were alerted to the fact that is running one of those bracket-style votes for the greatest uniforms of all time, the other day. As you might expect, the Green Bay Packers uniforms are in contention.

As you might not expect, Dave Dameshek is somehow involved. If you go to this page, you’ll see his face plastered all over it. Who the fuck is Dave Dameshek? Well, he calls himself the Uniform Monitor.

We, however, remember him best from the time he chose the greatest quarterback groupings of all time. Like, which franchise has had the best group of five QBs throughout their history. Obviously, the answer is the Green Bay Packers. However, after the obvious choices of Favre, Rodgers and Starr, Dameshek listed Dickey and Majkowski.

While that’s all well and good, like our boy Frank Winters, Dameshek is no student of history. Arnie Herber is in the Hall of Fame, was an All Pro three times and a member of the 1930s All-Decade Team. However, he played in the ’30s and ’40s and Dameshek apparently isn’t aware of those decades. There’s also an argument to be made for Tobin Rote, but I digress.

So, the Oblivious Quarterback Ranker has now, somehow, become the Uniform Monitor. And he’s created a bracket.

It’s now in the third round, where the Green Bay Packers uniforms are squaring off against the San Francisco 49ers in one NFC bracket. The 49ers are somehow the No. 1 seed. The Packers are the No. 5.

Although I have no love for these asshats, how are the Dallas Cowboys not the No. 1 seed. In fact, they’ve been eliminated altogether at this point. Yet, Seattle and New Orleans are still alive. Seattle…

In the AFC bracket, the Oakland Raiders are appropriately the No. 1 seed. Is this guy some Bay Area homer?

No. He’s actually from Pittsburgh. He also has an honorary doctorate in mustard, for whatever that’s worth.

Anyway, the real question is this. Are the Green Bay Packers uniforms the best in the NFL (or in NFL history — because there’s a throwback bracket too)?

I don’t know. They’re great for Green Bay, but personally, I’ve always found something menacingly awesome about the Raiders unis. Raiders kill motherfuckers. Packers… well, they pack meat.

But that’s the mascot, not the uniform.

So, if you want to go support the Packers and their Green and Gold, go vote on this shit.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

22 Comments on "Maybe You Care About the Green Bay Packers Uniforms…"

  1. E. Wolf

    I am somewhat ashamed to say I lsiten to this guy’s podcast. About half the time I turn it off. He can be somewhat amusing, but also really annoying.
    For what it is worth, he ranked the Philadelphia Flyers as the best uniform in all of sports. It seems he is very fond of the color orange.
    I give him props for ranking the Patriots uniform dead last. Fugly uniforms with a bank logo for a symbol.
    One last thing, he did a segment with Charles Woodson and Warren Sapp. It is disappointing Woodchuck would associate with either, but our future hall-of-famer dismissed Dameshek outright, saying something akin to “I don’t even know why you are here.”

    • Phatgzus

      Good ol’ Chuck, gonna miss the guy, he doesn’t fuck around or mince words.

      I agree on Dameshek, if you’re in the right mood and he’s on the right subject he can be funny, otherwise you just want to give him a pimp hand and throw him over the railing of a ferry.

  2. Lynn Fuckin' Dickey

    I like ‘Shek, been listening to him since he was on The Adam Carolla show in ’06. He’s a funny dude, and he’s pretty spot-on about uniform tastes. Except re: Seattle. Really, the Seahawks throwbacks should be in the AFC throwback category, those were some sharp unis.

    Old school Eagles vs. 70s Rams is the biggest toss up. The rest are pretty straight forward. The Niners have a damn good uniform, and he has stated on many occasions that they are his favorite in the NFL. But nothing touches the classic green and gold, that’s just a fact.

    Judging by the votes counted so far, I am definitely in the minority. Fans today like the shitty, flashier uniforms I guess. Texans over Raiders? BS. Panthers alternates? Get the fuck outta here with that shit.

  3. Arsh

    Why in God’s name would they be the best. They say it’s Green and GOLD when blatantly its YELLOW. stupid cheeseheads

    • Phatgzus

      I know you’re trolling but I’ll respond anyway: have you ever seen gold in real life” If you have, which, judging by your statement you likely have not, gold is the color of Packer Yellow, whereas what passes for gold (e.g. the Rams’ and ‘9ers’ jerseys, which is sadly ironic as they’re named after those who made a living sleuthing for the stuff) is actually the color of Iron Pyrite-Fool’s Gold, so named because you’d have to be a fool to believe it’s gold.

      • DD

        Arnie Herber was not a quarterback. I’m not even a Packer fan and I know this. I live among you idiots and, as this article shows, you are the least knowledgeable fans in the country. For nearly the first half of the 20th century virtually every team used a variation of the single-wing or Notre Dame Box and the “quarterback” was a back who lined up close to the line of scrimmage (a “quarter” of the way back) off-center behind the guard or tackle and was primarily a blocking back. The ball was snapped directly to a halfback, fullback or “tailback” who ran with it, handed it off, or sometimes threw it. It wasn’t until the Chicago Bears began using the T-formation with the QB lined up directly behind center to receive the snap that the idea of the quarterback as the primary passer was even thought of. The T was slowly adopted by most teams by the 1950’s. This is common knowledge among anyone who cares about the game or has played it at even the pee wee level. Arnie Herber, like virtually every other “passer” of his time, never played quarterback.

        • Phatgzus

          You are correct in your depiction of the offensive scheme of the early NFL, however, you display yourself to be no less idiotic than the neighbors whom you so despise. Arnie Herber played a manifold of positions (as did the vast majority of the players of the bygone era), during the era in which he played he was designated a halfback or tailback for, as you mentioned the designation of quarterback had not yet been invented; however, as the teams primary ball handler and an individual who threw the ball a dozen times per game, i.e. a “passer”, he may be and is in fact labeled by current historians and statisticians as a QB as well as a HB/TB/DB. Thus, technically you are correct only in the fact that the designation of Quarterback had not been coined, not that the role did not exist (it is not unlike the role of current players such as Kaepernick, RG III, and a young Michael Vick); simply because the designation did not exist at the time, nor that an individual does not line up directly under center does not preclude them frome being a Quarterback. If one is the primary ball handler and said individual passes the ball more than 1 or 2 times per game throughout a season, they are not simply a tailback. If any of the contemporary QB were to line up elsewhere on the field yet still receive the snap a multitude of times per game they would still be a quarterback provided they also threw the ball a set number of times. Additionally if Adrian Peterson for example, were to line up directly behind center (as has been done with TBs for decades) a dozen times per game, yet never threw the ball, he would not be designated a QB, he would be a TB who lined up behind center. As I mentioned there are contemporary QBs playing a role nearly identical to Herber’s, yet today they are known as “running quarterbacks” or “quarterbacks who can run”, simply because the designation of QB has been is manifest. If these men played in Herber’s time they would also be known as TBs. Ultimately, your position is nothing more than one of semantics.

          Furthermore, this information is not known to the most common football fan, in actuality it resides on a level of football esotericism known only by six, minor brands of individual: The individuals who participated in the era themselves, the most senior fans of the game who witnessed it, the handful of reporters who covered the sport at that time (of who there is likely only a literal handful left), the most avid and informed fans, the most dedicated and knowledgeable reporters, or a petulant pompinjay who cursorily utilizes an online encyclopedia to ascertain certain information of a participant in an antideluvian era of an incipient sport with the intention of establishing a false sense of intellect so as to put on airs and establish the sense of unimpeachability whilst casting aspersions upon true fans of the game who are not one of the six aforementioned minority groups privy to such knowledge.
          As such DD, you are either an elderly invidual who has somehow managed the amazing feat of lassoing tempestuous leviathin of electronicengineering that is the personal computer as well as his incorrigibly insolent cohort, the internet, yet who has gained no wisdom on the proper dealings of society throughout many decades of experience; or you are a being in a midlife crisis who chooses to play out his (or her) youthful fantasies by acting in a manner so very verisimilitudinous to that of current youthful brigands that it would be nighe impossible and entirely illogical to attempt to discern the miniscule variances. Perhaps in fact you are indeed a youth who is so amazingly precocious so as to possess an encyclopedic knowledge of a league nearly two decades post its diamond jubilee, yet as such an intellectual being, feels vastly to superior to all others and feels the need to identify this superiority to all those who will witness it; if this is so, it would be rather sad that such a mind would invest such energy into such causes when there are so many more much more dire and deserving of said individual’s attention. Or perhaps indeed, you are the ultimate of the group the witless in desperate need to feel the warmth disseminated by the fires of cunnig and wit.
          Is one more despicable than the next? Does it matter which species of odium you may be?
          Whatever the case may be DD, whatever your poison preferred, despite your noblest attempts, today it was inoculated in the slightest, for on this day you actually contributed to the institutions of discussion and knowledge, and for that you are thanked.

          • DD

            My point was, if you’re going to use a term like “student of NFL history” and then show your ignorance of the subject matter in the very next sentence, and if this information was so readily available for me to just look up on the internet and copy, as you have spitefully accused me of, then you and your buddies should have been able to do the same thing before making ignorant and erroneous claims. That is all.

          • Phatgzus

            And my point D, is that the categorization of Herber is indeed, accurate and acceptable, as is the case in with many positions, it is not solely a player’s relative location on the field prior to the snap that determines the identification of their position, it is also determined by the role they play. To that point, simply because a specific identifier had not yet been coined does not negate the term from accurately being applied retroactively. Furthermore, my main premise is reinforced by the multitude of football historians and statisticians (men who are much more eruditic about than we shall ever be) who oft refer to Herber as such.

            Finally, in no way did I spitefully condemn you of merely extending a perfunctory effort to determine the status of Herber as 1) that was simply one of six possiblities I enumerated and 2) there was no rancorous intent involved, ’twas only an interrogative intended to elicit information about some nature of your being. As you have so chosen to respond, I am inclined to believe you associate yourself with option 6, or some variation of therein.

          • DD

            Haha. So by choosing to respond I am just someone copying info off the internet (which I should point out, is not as readily available as you pretend it is) trying to display a superior intellect. So what does that make you??? I was right, I win.

          • Phatgzus

            It is not the simple fact that you chose to respond that led me to this conclusion rather it is the fact that you chose defend this particular option rather than one of the other 5-this is the essence of inferrence.

            As for obtaining information in general, it is quite easy to do so via the internet, especially when juxtaposed with the methods used prior to it’s inception-even the most abstruse topics can usually sussed out within a handful of hours. Specifically, this is not one of those rarest of topics, as there exists a Wikipedia page detailing Mr. Herber’s life. Esotericism does not necessarily equate arduous discovery, it often implicates nescience.

            I was not responding with the intent or desire to merely win an argument with an unknown combatant, rather I was trying to inform you of your error and illucidate an objective reality (at least to the extent that objecticism and reality exist). If you were solely attempting the former (which is ostensibly the case based on your concluding statement), then you have already lost, and you don’t even know it. If this is indeed so, then you have my eternal, unfetterd pity DD.

      • DD

        This is where I should stoop to your level and accuse you of using a thesaurus, but I am going to afford you the courtesy you would not afford me and assume you have a excellent vocabulary. If you’d like to learn more about the game of football and Mr. Herber (I just went your route and looked him up on Wikipedia where it lists him as a quarterback. Hmmm…) try reading a couple a books written by professionals on the subject matter instead relying on internet amateurs who know nothing.

        • Phatgzus

          1) I will address this issue one final time for your sake DD; I did not specifically import (or “accuse” you) what you assert I did, rather I stated that you lIkely belonged to one of 6 categories of individuals. I was then able to make an informed deduction (with the aid of rudimentary psychoanalysis) as to which, based on your decision to defend one of those six categorizations.

          2) at the risk of appearing braggadocious, I am a somewhat adroit wordsmiths; dictionaries and thesauri were integral instruments in that development. furthermore a motoring or an altogether uneducated individual may indeed employ such instruments, but the result would likely be an unintelligibly cumbersome hodgepodge of sundries lacking any verisimilitude of poetry or flow.

          3) I indeed used Wikipedia (which is almost a accurate as any other encyclopedia in existence, though I doubt that is your point of contention with the site), but my sources were not limited to said site. Prominent amongst them are (the self-titled ultimate source in information regarding the Green Bay Packers),, and foremost football statistics site on the World Wide Web, a site that employs a manifold of highly qualified football statisticians and historians. Below are the links for the and articles.

          4) At no point in any of your recriminations have you attempted to refute my definition of the quarterback position. I wonder why that is? Perhaps that is because your main premise is based on an archaic definition of the quarterback position. What would have been an accurate portrayal of the position in the 1930s is now démodé; point in case-fullbacks currently almost never line up behind a halfback in todays game, yet they were so named because this was originally the case.

  4. Phatgzus

    An honorary degree in mustard, eh, that would come in handy when applying to Hamburger U. I wonder if the Doctor has any relation to the Colonel?

  5. Phatgzus

    Green and Gold = Vincent Thomas Lombardi, ’nuff said.
    Second best jerseys would have to be the Raiders or Steelers, followed by the Rams, Niners, Eagles, and Bears; as for the rest WGaF?

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