The Closet Pooper Had His Identity Stolen

809 20
Najeh Davenport is The Closet Pooper

Najeh Davenport is The Closet Pooper

Former Green Bay Packers (and Steelers and Colts) running back Najeh Davenport, known around these parts as The Closet Pooper, was thought to have been arrested today in Miami. However, it turns out some dude stole Pooper’s ID and his ride.

Damian Coleman was arrested outside a hospital and gave the popo Pooper’s name, birthdate and ID. So then the media reported that Pooper was arrested. Pooper saw those reports and called in to a local TV station and said something like this.

“Yo, man! This is The Closet Pooper! Somebody stole Pooper’s ride! And Pooper’s ID! Pooper didn’t commit no crime! Pooper learned his lesson!”

And then he called the cops after someone at the local TV station suggested, “Hey, the cops are the ones who think they have you locked up in a cell. Maybe you should tell them instead of telling us.”

So it all has a happy ending, except for Coleman.

More importantly, this gives us an opportunity to tell you why Najeh Davenport is known as The Closet Pooper.


I am not shitting you, as it were.

When Davenport was in his final year at Miami, he was accused of sneaking into a female’s dorm at neighboring Barry University late at night and taking a dump in a clothes hamper in her closet. Davenport was still drafted by the Packers in the fourth round of the 2002 draft and he agreed to do community service to settle the charge that October.

Seems like the kind of guy the Minnesota Vikings would draft, right?

Anyway, Najeh Davenport is The Closet Pooper.

Good for him that he wasn’t the one getting arrested again, though.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

20 Comments on "The Closet Pooper Had His Identity Stolen"

  1. Tucson Packer

    Why not just get a bunch of dog poop, Pooper? Yours has your DNA in it, they can trace that stuff.

    Hopefully he was drunk, wonder what she did to warrant a strike from Pooper in the first place.

    • Phatgzus

      Hahaha awesome, sounds like a superhero, just imagine a brown cape and mask and turd logo on the front of his shirt.

  2. Craig Jennings

    His crapping capers is what started the U football scandal. One day they are poopin in closets then couple years later they are partying with strippers in hotels and on yachts.


    I remember a Press-Gazette Article stating that “For now, Coach Sherman is standing behind his man…just not too closely.”

  4. cd4packers

    Well at least he was not eating his crap like those two chicks on youtube…
    Wow, is there really nothing football related going on in Packer
    Nation? we have resorted to discussing some losers pooping habits.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *