D.J. Williams

One of the investigative sleuths at the Press Gazette has uncovered another major scoop (it was Pete Dougherty, let’s give the man his well-deserved credit!). Green Bay Packers tight end D.J. Williams enjoys cow tipping in the offseason.

The second-year player is from the redneck bastion that is Arkansas, so this probably shouldn’t surprise you.

“I roomed with a whole bunch of country people in college, didn’t have anything else to do,” Williams said.

What happened to good old fashioned getting loaded like we do here in Wisconsin? Guess that’s too fancy for folk from Arkansas. So what’s your strategy when tipping cows, D.J.?

“Just try to not get hurt or die,” he said. “It’s very difficult to put them on the ground. If you can wrap the hind leg with the front leg, you have a good chance if you give it a pretty good push.”

Good strategy. So why do you find this high-brow activity so enjoyable, D.J.?

“For a good time,” he said, “and it helps with football obviously, and it’s a good way to impress a girls.”

Ah, the eternal lure of a classy lady. There’s nothing like demonstrating your cow tipping prowess to attract the fairer sex.