Vikings Aren’t Going Anywhere

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Idiot Minnesota Vikings fans finally have a new stadium plan approved for their embarrassment of a team.

The Minneapolis City Council provided the final rubber stamp on the process by approving the stadium plan 7-6, on Friday.

Mayor R.T. Rybak celebrated with a swig of Grain Belt beer out of a horn in his office.

“I feel obviously incredibly happy to have this over,” Rybak said. “This has been a bruising fight. I feel in my gut a little bit like I imagine the Vikings feel after a win. You’re happy you won, but you’ve got to go sit in the hot tub and take care of the bruises for a little bit.”

What? No Hamms available?

The stadium will be built on the site of the Metrodome and the Queens will play in the University of Minnesota’s stadium until it’s done.

So, here are the positives if you’re a Green Bay Packers fan.

  1. You won’t have to worry about a ceiling tile falling on your head at the Metrodome anymore.
  2. Idiot Vikings fans won’t be jumping on the Green Bay bandwagon, so you won’t have to explain them away.
  3. The NFC North won’t have a team in Los Angeles.
  4. The Vikings and their long history of ineptitude will continue to remain the regular whipping boys and NFC North rival of the Green Bay Packers.

Now, let’s all thank our lucky stars.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

10 Comments on "Vikings Aren’t Going Anywhere"

  1. Ponder

    I still find it remarkable that a Fanzine Website shows up in my google news feed.

    I mean, some Bitter Packer Fan lamenting the fact that Viking Revenues are going to skyrocket, that somehow qualifies as “news”?

    Oh well, I do appreciate the post, thank you. How old will Aaron Rodgers be when the new Palace opens, 32?


  2. Pack Lethal

    Sounds like Ponder is a bitter Viking fan. Packer fans aren’t bitter, especially with 4 Superbowl wins, they’re more or less annoyed by brainwashed Viking fans and their bitching and moaning. Yes, you do have to be brainwashed to be a Viking fan, that or delusional. Who in their right mind would want to watch these pathetic disappointing losers year after year with their purple Pansie uniforms. You couldn’t pay me to do such an absurd thing. Get used to another 30 years of dismay you Minnesota Pricks. HA HA HA!

  3. marcoPOLO


    How old will Aaron Rodgers be when the new Palace opens, 32?

    What does that even mean? Adrian Peterson will be 30 by the time A-Rod is 32, and runningbacks are usually done at a younger age. Also, Jared Allen is a year older than #12.

  4. Pack Lethal

    The Vikings aren’t getting shit for revenue. Minneapolis and the state will, but Green Bay will always be the better football town and make more revenue per capita. There’s no comparison, so eat shit a bark at the moon Queenies.

  5. therealChuckywasCecil

    glad that the Vikings are staying in Minnesota. 50 years + of futility for our enjoyment can now continue. Yes the bitching, moaning and lack of football knowledge from their fans can get tiresome but it’s more fun to have them to kick around then some apathetic LA fans who couldn’t care less.

    Skol! if that makes you happy. I’ll smile with the memory of Brett throwing that last pick in the NFC championship game against the Aints.

  6. Fran Tarkenton's Teeth

    Minnesota, the land of 10,000 lakes and 2 million morons. I hope the people of Mpls/St. Paul spend a whole crapload of money to continue their pursuit of futility. Nothing like a bunch of Norwegians trying to run a professional football team. Packers fans love these guys.

  7. TyKoSteamboat

    This is the biggest slap-dick organization in professional sports.

    Disturbing after all the Packers’ multiple Titles that these loser fans still talk down to Packers fans. Fuck the ViQueens & their empty trophy case.

  8. iltarion

    Yes, truly this is good news.

    No one outside the NFL offices wanted the Vikings in LA.

    Like Gary Oldman playing one of the baddest asses in movie history once said, “I take no pleasure with the taking of a life from someone who doesn’t care about it.”

    Plus, it is nice to have a better stadium to take over once a year. D-troi and Minnie have both improved the Packer fan experience now. Good work.

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