Vikings Sign Another Criminal

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Jerome Simpson

You can’t make this stuff up, people.

It’s good to see the Minnesota Vikings have finally become a parody of themselves, though.

Today, the Vikings went and signed receiver Jerome Simpson. This wouldn’t necessarily be noteworthy, except for the fact that Simpson just served 15 days in prison on a felony drug charge. He’ll serve a three-game suspension from the NFL because of it.

Still, the Vikings went and gave him a one-year deal anyway. Why? Because their receivers suck and because they collect criminals better than anyone else in the league.

Simpson caught 50 balls for 725 yards and four touchdowns with Cincinnati last year. He also authored probably the best touchdown reception of the season.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

4 Comments on "Vikings Sign Another Criminal"

  1. therealChuckywasCecil

    I’m only surprised the Bengals didn’t fight to keep him. They’re the second best team in the criminal collecting dept. Keeping it classy in Minnesota.

  2. Ivomitonvikingfans

    I wonder if L.A. even wants these fuck-ups. I would rather start from scratch than with these losers. I have never been to SoCal, but I am guessing these assholes will only bring misery to the unsuspecting population. Someone really needs to warn them.

  3. nurseratchett

    Go to the coast, Viqueens…..GO TO THE COAST.
    All the best overcrowded prisons are in Cali; think of the pool to draft from in LA!

  4. Hacksaw

    If I were to be busted for felony drug charges I would never get hired back for the same job. So why should this guy?Bullshit.

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