Aaron Rodgers Fu Manchu

Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers was named to Forbes top 10 list of most influential athletes this week. He came in at No. 6.

Leading the way was NASCAR driver Jimmie Johnson, who repeated at No. 1. New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow and his wholesome wholesomeness came in at No. 2. The top five finished up with Peyton Manning, boxer Manny Pacquiao, and Tom Brady.

Following Rodgers was Dale Earnhardt Jr., Drew Brees, Eli Manning and Knicks point guard Jeremy Lin.

Yeah, a guy who’s been a starter for about one-third of a season made the list, but he’s Asian and hey, they had to put someone who isn’t Whitey McWhite in there somewhere.

Looking at the list, there are six quarterbacks and two NASCAR drivers. Two of these people aren’t even any good — Tebow couldn’t start for the Colts and Dale Jr. hasn’t won a race in like 17 years or something. So what can we glean from this?

  1. Most people don’t like their athletes to be any color darker than yellow.
  2. It doesn’t matter if you’re good at what you do as long as you’re a crazy religious nutjob or your dad died in a horrible accident.
  3. People really appreciate the fact that Jimmie Johnson has a hot-ass wife.
  4. Taste and likeability obviously have no correlation to influence, as evidenced by the appearance of the Manning brothers.
  5. Although they really have no idea who he is, most everyone figured they should vote for Manny Pacquiao because he looks scary.

To read more about how this list was constructed, check out the explanation on Forbes.

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