The Green Bay Packers are pissed, dammit! They’re pissed at you! You didn’t buy enough of their worthless stock, so they’re going elsewhere. Like a spurned ex-girlfriend they’re hooking up with a less attractive, dumber version of you, just so you know they’ve found someone and are happy to stick it to you.

In this case, the Canadians.

That’s right, our neighbors up in Canuckistan are now able to buy Green Bay Packers stock because, well, you and your highfalutin American ways haven’t given the team enough money. What is essentially America’s team will now have foreign ownership, which probably qualifies as treason or something.

But it’s your fault. You didn’t fork over $275 enough times. The Packers still have 17,000 shares left of the 280,000 they offered. It’s not enough that you go to the games, buy the merchandise and overpay for shitty beer at Lambeau. The Packers require more of your money, dammit! And since you didn’t hand it over when they told you to, you’re getting what you deserve.

All draft beer served at Lambeau will now be Molson… probably.

Stock is available until the end of the month, eh.

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