Detroit Lions Don’t Give Two Shits If You Don’t Like Nickelback

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"Yeah, bra! We're fuckin' awesome!"

You’d think since people will actually be watching the Detroit Lions this year on Thanksgiving — because they’re finally decent and they’re playing the Green Bay Packers — they’d bring in some local musical talent to play halftime. Or at least they’d bring in someone who has a shred of talent…

Nope! They decided on Canadian douche rockers Nickelback and they don’t give a fuck what you think about it!

On Thursday, the Lions organization confirmed these no-talent shitbags will be playing at halftime. We now know the leadership in that organization doesn’t care about their long-suffering fans at all. First, they hire Matt Millen as general manager and now this.

A Lions fan started an online petition to remove Nickelback from the halftime show. It has more than 50,000 signatures, mostly from Lions fans, and includes impassioned responses like this one.

As a professional music producer/engineer/songwriter and lifelong Lions fan, I am disgusted with the choice of Nickelback as a representation of music and culture in Detroit. Our city is famous for the creation of an entire genre, Motown, very few cities can make this claim. Not to mention very strong hip-hop, dj, and rock and roll scenes.

The thanksgiving game is a privilege, and we are very proud of our 2011 Lions team. Its a chance for Detroit to be on a national stage and show where we truly are at. Show our passion for our team, and show the world Detroit. So…

Nickelback? Is Nickelback Detroit? Does Nickelback have songs that reflect what we do in Detroit? What life is like? Nickelbacks’ music doesn’t even reflect a musical genre that has ever been popular in the city. It is not rock and roll, its a nasty hybrid of the worst manufactured music on the planet.

Lions Administration needs to dig a little deeper to identify who their fans are and select music to reflect that. I don’t personally know anyone that listens to Nickelback, they exemplify much of what is wrong with music. We are a hard working city that has guts, not the nicest city, not the cleanest, but NOT fake. Detroit has some proud people, so pick an act that is real.

Frankly, we get it. Nickelback sucks donkey balls and while their selection as the halftime band was probably an NFL decision that’s tied into some marketing deal — they have a new album coming out November 21, coincidence? — the Lions could have done something to at least try and appease their fans.

There’s plenty of good music that’s come out of Detroit. Among those musicians, there are several Detroit Lions fans who, we’d imagine, would LOVE to play this game while they’re supporting their team.

A few examples.

Bullet Fucking Bob!? Classic!

Kid Goddam Rock!? Huge!

The White Goddam Stripes!? Best Detroit band ever!

Madonna!? One of the biggest artists of all time! Talent to burn!

Eminem!? He is fucking Detroit! Tell him he can’t say fuck on national television!

Stevie Wonder!? Are you fucking kidding me? Musical genius!

Anyway, fuck Nickelback. Fuck the Detroit Lions. Fuck the NFL for being money-grubbing fucks.

Thankfully, we’ll be drunk by halftime and won’t even notice these fucktards are playing.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

21 Comments on "Detroit Lions Don’t Give Two Shits If You Don’t Like Nickelback"

  1. Buddymobile

    System of a down are a group from lithuania and hate American government. That would definetly shock people.

  2. MexicanpackFan

    System of a Down are Armenian Americans and yeah they have their opinion of American government but they are 10 times better than Nickelback.

  3. AZ Pack

    I’ve got an idea… Why don’t we just bring Eddy J. Lemberger along from Wisco to perform “I Love My Green Bay Packers?” Settles everything and everyone should have a little polka in their Turkey Day!

  4. mxz600

    Dont like the Band…Instead of crying about it, do what buddymobile does…Go rub one out with a copy of boys monthly at 1/2 time…problem solved.

  5. Buddymobile

    Mxz600 is a Canadian Viking fan, that loves Nickelback. Trifecta of complete and utter loserdom. I hope he chokes to death on his own spit singing along to Nickelback.

  6. Buddymobile

    Mindless losers, who need to be told what to like by pop culture, listen to Nickelback. No self thinker willfully listens to that shit Canadian band. The only thing worse than liking Nickelback is defending them on a football blog. Go suck off Chad Kroger you fag!

  7. Sonic Youf

    Nickelback must seem like a great band to drooling fucking idiots who have never once listened to anything but their local hard rock FM station. If you like Nickelback you are literally retarded. Nickelback is butt-rock for basement dwelling meathead losers, fuck them and fuck whoever decided this was a good idea.

  8. mxz600

    GEE…get all uptight over a band that plays for 10 minutes……I dont care if Gomer Pyle sings at 1/2 time, I’m there to watch the game. Dont like the band…gee, find something to do for 10 min…Do what buddymobile does…Throw one into his brother.

  9. canada rocks

    Canadian band or not, sells a lot of records worldwide and are fucking stinking rich…agree if 10 minutes of show will ruin the game, not sure how the show has anything to do with the game and for all those bashing us canadians you have obama and a economy in the shitter actually the country should be which country is the dumbfucks..

  10. Hacksaw

    Mxz600 pick a parking lot you fucking pussy Viking fan. Hiding behind words like a little bitch. Put up or shut up fag.

  11. This is Frank's T-shirt

    Bieber, so he is finally assassinated. No Packer fan even likes music. We like winning. Thats why music is prohibited in the clubhouse. No fun, just win. Teach me how to Raji, Packerayna, Green and Yellow. Only songs I have ever heard. Music is for pussies. Music makes you weak. Green Bay has drunk fans throwing footballs through holes during halftime while everyone else goes to take a piss. Fuck music.

  12. iltarion

    The real question should be- Do Packer fans like Nickelback?

    Because that is all that is going to be left in the stands after the Packers lead 35-0 at half anyway.


    Mxz600 is the typical Nickelback fan; can’t handle criticism of his shitty taste so has to resort to calling critics gay. Yawn.

    I’m not going to watch the halftime show, regardless of who’s playing because halftime is when I read analysis on Packer blogs. It just sucks that the game will be played in a place that historically is rich in musical talent but will instead pander to the lowest common denominator (mouth breathers like Mxz600) and showcase one of the most generic, lame “hard rock” bands to ever exist. Shameful.

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