Nickelback

"Yeah, bra! We're fuckin' awesome!"

You’d think since people will actually be watching the Detroit Lions this year on Thanksgiving — because they’re finally decent and they’re playing the Green Bay Packers — they’d bring in some local musical talent to play halftime. Or at least they’d bring in someone who has a shred of talent…

Nope! They decided on Canadian douche rockers Nickelback and they don’t give a fuck what you think about it!

On Thursday, the Lions organization confirmed these no-talent shitbags will be playing at halftime. We now know the leadership in that organization doesn’t care about their long-suffering fans at all. First, they hire Matt Millen as general manager and now this.

A Lions fan started an online petition to remove Nickelback from the halftime show. It has more than 50,000 signatures, mostly from Lions fans, and includes impassioned responses like this one.

As a professional music producer/engineer/songwriter and lifelong Lions fan, I am disgusted with the choice of Nickelback as a representation of music and culture in Detroit. Our city is famous for the creation of an entire genre, Motown, very few cities can make this claim. Not to mention very strong hip-hop, dj, and rock and roll scenes.

The thanksgiving game is a privilege, and we are very proud of our 2011 Lions team. Its a chance for Detroit to be on a national stage and show where we truly are at. Show our passion for our team, and show the world Detroit. So…

Nickelback? Is Nickelback Detroit? Does Nickelback have songs that reflect what we do in Detroit? What life is like? Nickelbacks’ music doesn’t even reflect a musical genre that has ever been popular in the city. It is not rock and roll, its a nasty hybrid of the worst manufactured music on the planet.

Lions Administration needs to dig a little deeper to identify who their fans are and select music to reflect that. I don’t personally know anyone that listens to Nickelback, they exemplify much of what is wrong with music. We are a hard working city that has guts, not the nicest city, not the cleanest, but NOT fake. Detroit has some proud people, so pick an act that is real.

Frankly, we get it. Nickelback sucks donkey balls and while their selection as the halftime band was probably an NFL decision that’s tied into some marketing deal — they have a new album coming out November 21, coincidence? — the Lions could have done something to at least try and appease their fans.

There’s plenty of good music that’s come out of Detroit. Among those musicians, there are several Detroit Lions fans who, we’d imagine, would LOVE to play this game while they’re supporting their team.

A few examples.

Bullet Fucking Bob!? Classic!

Kid Goddam Rock!? Huge!

The White Goddam Stripes!? Best Detroit band ever!

Madonna!? One of the biggest artists of all time! Talent to burn!

Eminem!? He is fucking Detroit! Tell him he can’t say fuck on national television!

Stevie Wonder!? Are you fucking kidding me? Musical genius!

Anyway, fuck Nickelback. Fuck the Detroit Lions. Fuck the NFL for being money-grubbing fucks.

Thankfully, we’ll be drunk by halftime and won’t even notice these fucktards are playing.

Related Posts: