Vikings’ Cook Will Miss Packers Game Because He’s In Jail

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Chris Cook

The Minnesota Strangler

The Minnesota Vikings and cornerback Chris Cook were made for each other.

Cook epitomizes the organization.

That is to say, he’s a dumb motherfucker.

After getting arrested on gun charges in March, Cook was arrested early Saturday morning on two counts of domestic assault. He’s being held without bail, so he’ll miss Sunday’s game against the Green Bay Packers.

The KSTP-TV website reported that Eden Prairie police said a neighbor called 911 after hearing screaming. A police spokesperson also told KSTP that the charges include strangulation. That charge is a felony in Minnesota.

Ahhhhh… do I even need to say it?

I don’t think so.

Cook was slated to start opposite Cedric Griffen this week because Antoine Winfield is expected to remain out with a neck injury. The Vikings will now turn to Asher Allen.

What’s the over/under on Aaron Rodgers‘ yardage total now?

We’ll put it at 500.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

7 Comments on "Vikings’ Cook Will Miss Packers Game Because He’s In Jail"

  1. DevilDon

    Strangulation is a felony in Minnesota? Did BrINT ever get charges against him for choking himself in the NFCCG?
    In fact, why isn’t the entire population of retired, former or current members of this team in the slammer? It seems choking is their favorite pastime.
    I hope these losers choke and turn purple. Oh wait….

  2. iltarion

    I was predicting a fairly tough game. This could change things.

    The Packer offense is in town and the Vikings are now without Antoine Winfield and Chris Cook? Good luck with that.

  3. Brent

    I just went to a Vikings bar and only found 2 drunks to bet again me with the spread.., total of $45… Fair weather fans?

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