As you’ve probably heard by now, the nuptials of [intlink id="13" type="category"]Chicago Bears[/intlink] quarterback [intlink id="405" type="category"]Jay Cutler[/intlink] and former reality TV star Kristin Cavallari have been called off.

Like us, you probably wondered what the hell would happen to the luxurious gravy boat we purchased for them from their gift registry. You probably also wondered if the whole engagement was just a ruse to get free crap from people. Then you probably cursed the Cutler name and said something like, “I hope you choke on that fuckin’ gravy you mouth breathing son of a bitch!”

Well, yesterday we received this card at Total Packers headquarters.

It appears they won’t be choking on our gravy after all.

Cutler return cardI wonder whose assistant had to fill these out.

I like the fact that they underlined the word ‘note.’ Either the person who was forced to personalize these is a Green Bay Packers fan or no one bothered to read the note, because it would have been anything but appreciated.

On a side note that will surely find you rolling on the floor, Cavallari reportedly accused Cutler of faking the injury he faked in the NFC Championship game.

In January, they got into a big blow-out argument after Jay injured his knees during the NFL playoffs. He was diagnosed with a MCL sprain. “Kristin called Jay out, saying she thought he was faking the injury and told him he was worthless.”

Our source says everyone agreed it was only a “matter of time” before they split. “Their breakup was no surprise at all to anyone who lived in the building. We thought they would end things before they got married, and if they did go through with the wedding we were convinced they’d divorce. They fought all the time, and to be honest, I blame Jay. He was awful.”

Ah, those crazy kids!

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