Cutler And Cavalli Getting Gravy Boat From Us For Their Wedding

532 14

Jay Cutler's new gravy boatIf you didn’t get the memo, the wedding registry for Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler and pseudo-celebrity Kristin Cavallri has been posted, almost a full year in advance.

So what did we do?

Bought them a motherfuckin’ gravy boat, that’s what!

And not just any gravy boat, but the large fuckin’ gravy boat!

Added a nice little personalized message too. It took a lot for us not to call Cutler a mouth breather, but we didn’t think this was the correct occasion for such things.

After all, this is a celebration of two talentless people coming together in the sacred bonds of matrimony.

Click on the image to see larger version.

Jay Cutler's gravy boat order

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

14 Comments on "Cutler And Cavalli Getting Gravy Boat From Us For Their Wedding"

  1. Dirty Sanchez

    No, this is fucking great! I would give anything to see his reaction. I wonder if he will send a thank you card?

  2. Daaaave

    Ah, the wedding registry…like shopping, but douchier. Somehow I don’t see Kristin saving the drippings from a big roast and making gravy. I’m guessing Jake scanned that baby into the registry.

  3. 12meninthehuddle

    Hope you guys kept the receipt! According to sources close to Cutler, the engagement is now over! Hahahahaha, she must have come to her senses and realized that she would have to spend the rest of her life waking up next THAT mouth breather……….good for her!!!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *