Jared Allen

Yeah! You're the man!

[intlink id=”35″ type=”category”]Minnesota Vikings[/intlink] defensive end [intlink id=”6″ type=”category”]Jared Allen[/intlink] is just so awesome!

He’s awesome and totally cool in a way anyone who isn’t a dumb redneck just wouldn’t understand!

In other words, he’s (still) a douchebag. And Minnesota Vikings fans still love him.

You know, peanut butter and jelly.

I’m sure you remember the day Allen cut his totally awesome mullet.

You don’t?

Well, he did and he did it for his wedding, which is an event that actually happened. Of course, you can marry sheep in Minnesota, so…

Anyway, Allen took some time to talk about the mullet yesterday (and hell, we’ve got nothing else to do but make fun of Jared Allen).

“I want to grow it back. But it takes forever,” Allen said. ”It’s in my heart still. It’s still a way of life. Sometimes you gotta do things for love and for your parents and I cut the mullet for my wedding. Hopefully the Propecia helps and keeps my hair from falling out.”

A way of life, you see.

Just like wearing Ed Hardy, calling everyone bro and listening to Nickelback is a way of life, I bet.