Everson Griffen Has Learned The Minnesota Vikings Way

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Everson Griffen

This may be what Griffen looked like on Monday.

In just one season on the team, defensive end Everson Griffen has learned the Minnesota Vikings way.

That is, be a complete embarrassment to yourself and the NFL like so many great Minnesota Vikings before you. Represent the Minnesota Vikings like they deserve to be represented. Conjure memories of idiots like Favre, McKinnie, Culpepper and Onterrio Smith.

Griffen joined that elite group of fuck ups over the last few days when he was arrested not once, but twice… and Tasered.

On Friday, Griffen was arrested in Los Angeles for allegedly being drunk in public. He was released on Saturday.

Then, he was pulled over on Monday and found to have an invalid license. This is where it gets weird.

Griffen then told them “he did not want to go back to jail” and sprinted away from the officers, who caught up with him after a short distance.

When one of the officers tried to subdue Griffen, he allegedly grabbed the officer in the groin area, the source said. Moments later, officers used a Taser to subdue him, the source said.


The Minnesota Vikings, always the picture of class — home of the cock texter, a guy who got kicked off the Pro Bowl team, the love boat and the Whizzinator.

I think we need a catchy name for Griffen or perhaps the incident itself. Please leave your suggestions in the comments.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

49 Comments on "Everson Griffen Has Learned The Minnesota Vikings Way"

  1. fred

    Griffin never got into a hottub with high schoolers, had sex with a baby-sitter or raped someone. CHEWY DID

    • jeremy

      Mandarich was never even charged with a crime and Chmura was acquitted on all charges dumbass.

      I’ll bet it’s plea bargain time for Griffen.

  2. jbork88

    plus alan page is a bigger class act and more successful than any idiot to come out of green bay. dumbfuck

    • Jolly and Chmura. Thats all you got. Minnesota literally has a Boatload of scumbags, the original whizzinator, Brett’s Dick pix, Griffen, Randy Moss and the list goes on.

      And you know what you don’t have? A Superbowl.

      • jbork88

        hahahaha, i love how you associate favre with the vikings even though he took that picture with the jets. I forget how mentally retarded packer fans are some times.

        • doesnt matter

          how about the masseuse that works for the queens that contacted the police back in September about favre sexually harassing her.

          • jbork88

            how about the obvious bull shit that it is and that she is in it for the money? gee. no one has ever tried that before……dumbass

  3. Chris

    Every organization has it’s good guys and bad guys, even the Packers.

    It’s just that with the Vikings, there is a level of severe stupidity tacked on to what they have done. Like thinking Lake Minnetonka, in the middle of Minnesota, is somehow in international waters.

  4. jbork88

    and why not bring up darren sharper? he was on the love boat. i guess you dont want to bring up former packers that you actually like

  5. iltarion

    Viking fans!! Holy shit!!! I can’t believe it! Hahahaha!!! I thought they were all underground until their next embarrassing campaign!

    The only thing Chmura was ever convicted of was stupidity. I mean, who hasn’t been in a hot tub with some high school girls on their prom night? Let that person step forward.

    Jolly being a mobile pharmaceutical is pathetic, but not as pathetic and outright hilarious as a pro athlete trying to run from the cops and getting tasered.

    • Bearsnake


      I have signed affidavits that you are a self-sucking, cunt-faced jerkoff. Regardless of the outcome of Sunday’s game, that fact will not change.

      Your pal,

  6. jbork88

    f u. f packers fans, the team and organization. packers will lose in the super bowl. i’m actually a steelers fan. GO STEELERS. and BIG BEN!!!!

  7. Buddy

    It looks jbork went back to his little village in the welfare state of Minnesota to impregnate his Mom and Sister again. Those jealous morans must be born with just a brain stem. They all say the same shit with thier simpleton mindsets. They really do think that Rodgers snubs cancer patients and when you try to explain it to them they ignore you and say the same moranic nonsense. Be prepared if you decide to live in the land of 10,000 stubborn idiots. These cavemen/women are the rudest people Iv’e ever met. Minnesota nice IS NOT true. It should be Minnesota Rude and stubborn. Thier biggest problem is that they think they know what they are talking about and when you prove them wrong they get all angry and stubborn. Is it a scandinavian thing? Anyhow that sums up the assholes that interloped on our blog page so they can go fuck a diseased goat for all I care.

    • lebowski

      Packer fan here, so don’t get too defensive, but if you’re going to call someone a ‘moran’ that says ‘moranic nonsense’, you might want to learn how to spell…it’s ‘moron’. And it’s ‘their’. How do you get ‘scandinavian’ right and screw those up? :)

    • nurseratchett

      how many posts are you past being done with this site? Small bus late in picking you up, ViQueen?

    • Buddy

      Jackass Bork 88 is one of those cocksuckers that is a Viqueen fan who goes out and buys a Bears jersey before the NFC Championship game. He probably went out and bought a Ben Ruthlessbeater jersey. Get a life you scum bag.

  8. Buddy

    Maybe Griffen could be the spokes person for the brand of taser that was used on him. His slogan could be ” I can run away from tha poe poe but I can’t run away from that got damn taser.”

  9. phillthyphill

    Im new to this website, there sure are a lot of Viqueen fans who are gluttons for punishment. Let Mr Reacharound grab ya nuts too and give you that sweet pain in your stomach Viqueen fans are used to.

  10. The ViQueens have an EMPTY TROPHYCASE!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA! If you’re a ViQueen fan; you go to bed at night wishing you had 1 of the Pack’s 12 NFL Championships. And wasn’t Dennis Green accused of sexual harrassment at least once?
    I don’t take shit from ViQueens fans cause they need Packer recycleables to be the slightest bit successful.
    Fuck the purple penis eaters. They are the joke of the NFL. Nice stadium you losers. Tear the Metro-Sexual dome down, turn it into a parking lot, and move that lame franchise to Los Angeles already.

    • Buddy

      Who cares where you live asshole. You belong in North Korea you communist piece of shit. Your daddy must have fucked you too hard when you were a little boy.

  11. This F'n Guy

    People, people, people. Please, stop. We’re losing track of the most important thing here. The ‘queens still:

    Wear purple
    Play inside
    Have NEVER won a superbowl

    Just wanted to put things back in perspective.

    P.S. All you ‘queens fans out there. We already have a rival, the Bears. No matter how much you petulant whelps want the Pack/’queens to be the rivalry you so desperately crave, it isn’t, nor will it ever be. But because of our storied franchises’ success, we are in the enviable position of having not one, but two rivals. In a gesture of our overwhelming generosity we would be willing to give you one of them. You can have the Lions.

  12. DevilDon

    Everson “Shock & Grawb” Griffen
    Everson “Two-Time” Griffen
    Everson “Purple People Grabber” Griffen
    Evergrab Griffen
    Evershock Griffen
    Everfuckingassholevikingsdirtbagunionwe’lltakeyourunwantedplayersandpretendwe’regoodandwatchthemembarrassourfranchise Griffen
    Balls R Us
    I got a million of ’em but one more:
    Evershock Grippin’

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