Clay Matthews Lays The Smackdown
I can’t say I know much about professional wrestling or the WWE these days. I come from a day when professional wrestlers were men — when the Macho Man dropped the elbow from the top rope and was accompanied by the only woman more beautiful than my mother, when Jake The Snake Roberts was the baddest man on the planet, and when the atomic leg drop was actually a finishing move.
I suppose it helped that the atomic leg drop was preceded by the big boot to the face. Amazing how the Hulkster was always able to put those two moves in combination together to finish off an opponent after rallying from a near-death-like situation with the help of all the Hulkamaniacs, but that’s a conversation for another time.
Anyway, that’s when it was still called WWF.
Now, the WWE belt is held by some dude named Edge. I don’t understand how all of this went down, so I’ll let someone else try to explain it.
So, Tuesday night, The Rated-R Superstar Edge had to defend his world title against Dolph Ziggler, who is a total jerk, but is oh-so-dangerous inside the squared circle.
Further stacking the odds against Edge, the special referee for the match was to be Vickie Guerrero, who is kind of a jerk herself, and get this — is dating Dolph Ziggler.
In order for Edge to survive the match with his world championship — nay, his very life — intact, he’d have to have help from a strong, noble and heroic friend. Fortunately, just such a man was nearby.
That man, of course, was Green Bay Packers linebacker [intlink id="454" type="category"]Clay Matthews[/intlink], who will henceforth be known as Clay Motherfuckin’ Matthews.
Edge delivers his patented finishing move, Clay Motherfuckin’ Matthews rushes to the ring as the crowd goes wild, counts the three and all is right with the world.
I found two videos of the footage, which I believe will actually air on television, Friday night. And yes, I could have just looked that up, but I really don’t care when wrestling is shown on television.
So, this first video is shot from far away, but it’s clear and gives you the full rundown of the action, although you don’t actually get to see Matthews enter the arena and run to the ring.
This second video isn’t clear, it isn’t steady, but it’s short and I love it because you can see just how rowdy these motherfuckers get when Clay Motherfuckin’ Matthews enters the arena.
It’s kind of like Jesus H. Christ himself showed up at a Billy Graham crusade.
Clay Motherfuckin’ Matthews, ladies and gentlemen!