Here Are Our ‘What I Want For Christmas’ Contest Winners

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You'll shoot your eye out!

Here are the winning entries from our “What I want for Christmas” contest.

The winners will be getting a pair of Green Bay Packers gloves or ear warmers (or both) from 180s.

There were quite a few entries in the contest and it was really hard to choose just four winners. I wish we had more to give away, but we’ll be coming back with some other contests this week, so stay tuned.

With that, here are the winning entries.

First place:

All I want for Christmas is
1) for the beotch at work who sticks her head in my office at least twice a day to say “da Bears” to be stricken with a horrible swelling disease that makes her fake ta-ta’s explode, blowing silicone all over the guy down the hall who is a ViQueens fan.
2) to win out, make the play-offs, bitch slap all of the NFC, face the Patsies again in the super bowl and make Tom Brady weep like the little fluffy haired bitch he is.
3) for my husband to attend the “Football 101″ seminar at Lambeau next year so I don’t have to keep explaining what just happened while I’m either cheering my ass off or cussing at Mikey for play calling/clock management/looking like Fred Flinstone. (Hope he doesn’t read this…LOVE YOU B!)
4) those ear warmers because the big G knit headband I currently wear pushes my bangs up over the top of it & makes me look like I’m waiting for the small bus to take me to a Bears game.
and finally….
5) to win the gloves too to give to my big brother who taught me all about football and insured I was a Pack Fan from the age of 2.

Second place:

All I want for Christmas is…
1) Jay Cutler to forget his insulin shot before the Packers game, only to pass out mid dropback and literally get beheaded by CM3.
2) Have a night on the town with A-Rodge, drinking our socks off and end up banging Erin Andrews and Jenn Sterger together while continually high-fiving each other.
3) Andrew Quarless to catch a pass thrown to him.
4) Attend the annual love boat celebration (we all know it happens), later convincing AP to come sign with the Pack and end up lighting the houseboat on fire as we ride to the shore on my jetski laughing at the sexual assault accusations that have been brought upon Childress.
5) Kick Dan Connelly in the nutsack as hard as my size 10 foot will allow.
6) Buzz the shit out of Tom Brady’s hair like they used to do in Jackass while giving him a face-full of slap with my hand full of talcum powder.
7) But lastly and certainly not least, I want the best muthafucking professional sports franchise to not only make the playoffs but win Super Bowl 45…and in Aaron Rodgers post game MVP speech, get to observe first-hand him literally taking a shit on Favre’s chest.
Merry Christmas to all and GO PACK!

Third place:

Ryan Beckner
All I want for Christmas is my Floridian girlfriend to become a Packers fan so I don’t have to dump her for New Years’.

Ed. note: We like your dedication.

Fourth place:

1. Masturbation video of Jenn Steger
2. A win against the G(ay)-men
3. Booth help on throwing the challenge flag
4. Some beer, eh
5. Todd Rungren Greatest Hits EP
6. Autographed Chuck Cecil facemask
7. Lindy memorabilia
8. Brittany Favre real doll (and/or fleshlight)
9. Playoff shutout against da Bears at their house
10. 3 car fatal accident between Brian Billick, Chris Collingsworth and Jon Gruden
11. Peace and love in 2011

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

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