Brett Favre Displays His Super-Human Powers Of Deduction

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Brett Favre

Two and two equal five... no... four.

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre admitted that he fucked up, on Tuesday.

After Favre’s late scramble helped the Vikings beat Washington last Sunday — chariots of fire was surely playing somewhere and NFL Films will probably include it in Favre’s career highlights — everyone wondered about last season’s NFC Championship game. You know, the one where Favre chucked the ball across his body into the waiting arms of the New Orleans Saints Tracy Porter in the fourth quarter and we laughed at all the crying Minnesota Vikings fans?

Of course you do.

So, people were wondering, what if Favre would have scrambled on the play? Could Favre have scrambled on the play? What if we weren’t all a bunch of moronic losers in Minnesota?

Favre, using his brilliant powers of deduction, had this to say.

“I’m sure I could have been,” able to run, Favre said. “I’ve asked myself that question a bunch. San Francisco game last year, could have easily thrown it over to Sidney Rice or thrown it to someone else. [He threw it to Greg Lewis and it resulted in a last-second touchdown.]  You make decisions. Physically I was able to play in the Saints game. It would have been a lot tougher a day or two later to play. I could have done that, wish I would have done it. Or I wish I would have thrown it to Bernard [Berrian] in the flat. But that wasn’t the case.”

No it wasn’t, much to our delight.

I guess that’s Brett’s way of saying he fucked up.

Let me peer into the future for a moment and make some deductions of my own.

A year from now, Brett will turn his tremendous powers of hindsight to this season and he’ll realize that he fucked up when he decided to come back and go out a loser.

Next, he’ll use his 20/20 backwards vision (much like that of Superman!) to look at his time with the New York Jets in order to deduce that he fucked up when he left those voicemails for that hot broad who was trolling the sidelines.

Finally, Favre will peer straight through the walls of time, into the past, and look at the conclusion of his time with the Green Bay Packers and he’ll figure out that he fucked up when he acted like a childish, selfish imbecile when he pouted his way out of town.

Of course, that won’t happen until he’s old, withered, divorced and realizes no one loves him anymore.


About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

10 Comments on "Brett Favre Displays His Super-Human Powers Of Deduction"

  1. Aaron

    This too much. I’m a sucker for Favre non-news as much as the next guy, but this is just bitter, senseless banter.

  2. Abe Frohman

    Actually, I don’t see this as Brett admitted he fucked up. I see it as him rationalizing. Yeah, I shouldn’t have done that, but when you make decisions, sometimes they’re great ones – like the pass to Greg Lewis – and sometimes they’re not.

    I therefore don’t see him looking back with regret….ever. He’s far too arrogant.

  3. iltarion

    Yeah, decisions… like his decision to throw an out to Donald Driver instead of dumping it to an uncovered Ryan Grant who probably gets to about midfield.

    Or the decision to lead Javon Walker over the top and throw it right into the waiting hands of Sean Dawkins rather than throwing it across field where Walker was going and wide open in the process.

  4. DevilDon

    Monty’s observations are why I keep coming back to this site. Honestly, they reflect the fun of being a fan. I have no problem with sticking another fork in Brent.
    My suggestion for his book: No defenders!
    An inside look at how DBs go invisible if you’re the greatest QB ever.

  5. Buddy

    Brent Favre fans ARE NOT true Packer fans. Plain and simple. If you are a Favre fan then be one, if your a Packer fan then RIGHT ON, but you cannot be both. Why you ask?

    Brent Favre hates the Packers, therefore if you like Brent Favre are indeed are a traitor. He no longer plays for Green Bay, so fuck Favre, Aaron Rodgers needs our support to bring us victories. Pulling for Brent takes the support away from Rodgers which takes away from the Packers. So if you are a Favre fan go cheer for the Viqueens because us true fans don’t have room for losers like you!

  6. Brain

    You know what was even funnier than Favre’s interception? Rodgers sitting back in the pocket forever against the Cardinals, getting sacked (how appropriate), fumbling, and then kicking the ball intentionally like some pussy soccer player (has this EVER even been discussed among Packers fans?) right into the waiting arms of a Cardinals defender who runs it in for the game winning touchdown. Yeah, let’s not talk about it. Cuz he looked like a pretty big fag the whole time it went down.

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