Brett Favre

Two and two equal five… no… four.

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre admitted that he fucked up, on Tuesday.

After Favre’s late scramble helped the Vikings beat Washington last Sunday — chariots of fire was surely playing somewhere and NFL Films will probably include it in Favre’s career highlights — everyone wondered about last season’s NFC Championship game. You know, the one where Favre chucked the ball across his body into the waiting arms of the New Orleans Saints Tracy Porter in the fourth quarter and we laughed at all the crying Minnesota Vikings fans?

Of course you do.

So, people were wondering, what if Favre would have scrambled on the play? Could Favre have scrambled on the play? What if we weren’t all a bunch of moronic losers in Minnesota?

Favre, using his brilliant powers of deduction, had this to say.

“I’m sure I could have been,” able to run, Favre said. “I’ve asked myself that question a bunch. San Francisco game last year, could have easily thrown it over to Sidney Rice or thrown it to someone else. [He threw it to Greg Lewis and it resulted in a last-second touchdown.]  You make decisions. Physically I was able to play in the Saints game. It would have been a lot tougher a day or two later to play. I could have done that, wish I would have done it. Or I wish I would have thrown it to Bernard [Berrian] in the flat. But that wasn’t the case.”

No it wasn’t, much to our delight.

I guess that’s Brett’s way of saying he fucked up.

Let me peer into the future for a moment and make some deductions of my own.

A year from now, Brett will turn his tremendous powers of hindsight to this season and he’ll realize that he fucked up when he decided to come back and go out a loser.

Next, he’ll use his 20/20 backwards vision (much like that of Superman!) to look at his time with the New York Jets in order to deduce that he fucked up when he left those voicemails for that hot broad who was trolling the sidelines.

Finally, Favre will peer straight through the walls of time, into the past, and look at the conclusion of his time with the Green Bay Packers and he’ll figure out that he fucked up when he acted like a childish, selfish imbecile when he pouted his way out of town.

Of course, that won’t happen until he’s old, withered, divorced and realizes no one loves him anymore.

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