Huh? What? Me?

I’ll tell you who’s happier Brett Favre came back this season. Me.

The most despicable franchise in the history of anything, the Minnesota Vikings, are 0-2, two games behind the Green Bay Packers in the NFC North and seemingly ready to implode.

I know Favre certainly isn’t happy about that and neither is the rest of the Vikings organization. I, on the other hand, am fucking ecstatic, not only because I hate the Vikings more than mass genocide, but because the Lord and Master Brett Favre has looked like the old man he is while sucking it up this season.

Through two games Favre is 37-of-63 for 396 yards. That’s decent, but certainly not the Favre of a year ago, and it gets worse… or better, if you’re me.

Favre is sporting a 6.3 yards per pass average, which would tie for the lowest of his career if he keeps it up. And… wait for it… Favre has tossed four interceptions compared to only one touchdown this season. Favre threw seven interceptions all of last season.

All of this Favre awesomeness adds up to a 56.1 quarterback rating. That’s good for 28th in the league.

Favre, in classic form, pretty much guaranteed the Vikings were destined to lose to the Dolphins on Sunday by throwing three picks and fumbling in his own end zone. The Dolphins recovered and ended up winning 14-10, despite 145 yards on the ground by Adrian Peterson.

So, what’s wrong?

Who cares!

Favre looks lost, confused and not into the game. Sounds like… an old man.

Unfortunately, my dream of an 0-16 Vikings season probably won’t come true this year, but the Vikings being the laughingstock I’ve always known and professed they are is a pretty damn good consolation prize, especially when The Savior Brett Favre himself is playing quarterback.

Favre is the Vikings’ biggest problem right now, according to former Redskins linebacker LaVarr Arrington.

And after an 0-2 start, I’m wondering whether the Vikings still think it was wise for them to beg Favre not to retire? Was it worthwhile to offer him more money and send their best players and coaches to visit him during training camp to plead with him to play? Please.

This could turn out to be the worst off-season decision of the year. Honestly, what do you believe these Viking players are thinking? I’ll tell you. They are wondering the same thing they wondered last year: How the heck does an NFL franchise allow so much indecision? How does an NFL franchise allow a single player to dictate what happens and what doesn’t? And here’s the most detrimental thought of all: Teammates now say to themselves, ‘if he can get away with it, then why shouldn’t I be able to do the same’?

The Vikings do not have a clear direction at this point, and although they were a pass away from playing in the Super Bowl last season, this team seems disjointed and dangerously close to a meltdown. And we all know the reason why. Sad, but true, we all know that Brett Favre’s shenanigans are the main reason why.

Ohhhhhh… that’s gold LaVarr! Gold!

It’s true, the Vikings allowed Favre to have his way — the exact opposite approach the Packers took with Favre and his prima donna bullshit — and that may come back to haunt them.

What’s more surprising, perhaps, is the organization’s complete ignorance.

I mean, really, if anyone in the Vikings organization thought Favre was going to duplicate last season’s magic, well, then they’re stupider than even I suspected. Last year was Favre’s all-around best season primarily because he threw so few interceptions. He didn’t give games away like he did in Green Bay (at least until that joyous occasion in New Orleans) and put up prolific numbers.

In fact, last season was the first in Favre’s career as a starter he threw less than 13 interceptions. Now, in a season where he’ll turn 41, everyone wonders what’s wrong. Some will say Favre misses Sidney Rice, who’s out for the first six weeks of the season, but this is a guy who used to make guys named Kitrick Taylor and Jeff Query look good.

You can’t tell me Percy Harvin and Bernard Berrian aren’t decent receivers. No, Favre is just reverting back to his pre-Vikings days AND he’s showing his age.

Shutdown Corner’s Shane Bacon wonders if Favre isn’t headed for the bench or maybe even the ranch.

It isn’t a pretty picture in Minnesota right now, and a lot of the unrest lies with their star quarterback, that seems to always make things a bit more interesting than they need to be. If he gets pulled, should we expect him to pout his way out of another organization and into a different one, like he did with Green Bay and New York?

If he’s pulled for another play caller, it would be an interesting end to a career that has never truly been that normal.

I think that would be a fitting end to Favre’s career, now that we all know what kind of guy King Brett really is.

Whether Brett gets benched, quits or none of the above really doesn’t matter, though. Favre is not on the same page as his receivers. It’s doubtful he’s on the same page as Childress.

If this continue, the Vikings aren’t going to turn things around anytime soon.

Winning covered up a lot of internal issues for the Vikings, last season. If the losses continue to mount, this team is going to start bickering, pointing fingers and every problem is going to be magnified, which is totally cool with me.

More so than Prince Brett going out as a whiner or a quitter, it would really be more fitting if he went out an epic loser. He’s a Minnesota Viking and the shoe most certainly fits.

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