Please pay attention to me

You all remember when Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre was going to retire. I mean, retire for the third time, this year, for good.

Then he changed his mind, again. Oh, and he lied about it.

Favre sent text messages to teammates informing them he was going to hang it up, which prompted all the retirement talk. Favre then did a 180 and said he’d play if his ankle was healthy enough and denied ever sending the text messages — the same text messages his teammates confirmed they had received.

Apparently, things went down like this. Favre sent the messages with the intent to retire because his ankle wasn’t feeling healthy enough. Several Vikings players texted Favre back urging him to reconsider and the organization offered him more money. Favre’s ego got its proper massaging. Favre again became uncertain about retirement and lied about sending the messages in the first place.

All of this according to Jay Glazer.

As one source explained to me, Favre probably wasn’t prepared for such an outpouring. When he left the Packers there wasn’t much love, if any, from teammates asking him to reconsider. And there certainly wasn’t any from Jets’ players. But with this team, Favre was completely beloved, and for the first time, had an entire locker room figuratively pounding down his door like a husband begging his wife not to file for divorce.

“He’s torn,” said another member of the Vikings. “I think in his mind he was done, but loves the guys in this locker room and doesn’t want to let them down. He didn’t want to (come back), but I don’t think he can say no to these guys. He’s tortured.”

Oh, poor tortured Brett. I shed a tear for you.

Why Favre decided to lie about sending the texts to begin with is uncertain. No one really knows how his stupid hayseed brain works or if it even knows how to do anything other than chuck a football.

However, I have a solution to this problem of Brett Favre that will allow us to move on for good. Someone get me Brett Favre’s number, we’ll post it here and then anyone can text Favre and tell them what they think of him and if he should play this season.

Something tells me the refrain of give it up already and leave us alone you stupid hick will drown out the come back pleas. When Favre gets the message, maybe we can be done with his charade for good.

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