Jenn Sterger

Let's be honest. You'd rather see Jenn in this case.

Not Jenn Sterger, apparently.

It appears Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre, then with the New York Jets, sent Sterger unsolicited cell phone photos of his cock.

Normally I make things like this up, but in this case, it is reportedly true. While I could care less about Brett Favre or any man’s cock, I do like to enlighten the rest of the world as to what a scum-sucking prick Brett Favre really is.

Listen, I know you have Brett Favre fatigue, but bear with me on this one.

Sterger is currently one of the hosts of The Daily Line on Versus, but she rose to fame on the Internet as the original Florida State Cowgirl. That got her shoots in Maxim and Playboy and a column for Sports Illustrated, and she later netted a job as the in-house sideline reporter for the Jets at the time Lord Favre was quarterbacking the team.

Sterger was reportedly discussing a project with Deadspin — whom, if you are familiar with, have more lawyers and lower standards than we do — when she mentioned she’d received said cock texts from none other than The Lord, himself. Deadspin sat on the “story” until yesterday, when they announced to the world that Brett Favre, Lord and Master, had gone back to his old philandering ways of yore.

Favre’s messages to Sterger were at first friendly, but soon turned weird and aggressive, according to Deadspin.

Sterger claimed she spurned Favre’s advances because he was married, but also because she was working for the Jets at the time she didn’t think it was the best idea to start a torrid affair with the team’s highest profile player (the Jets have not responded to a question about any knowledge of the Favre/Sterger saga at this time). Plus, if she went forward with how aggressive he was and how skeeved out she was to some of her superiors, she suspected she might lose her job. The interactions were flirty and strange but she didn’t think there wasn’t anything that made her too uncomfortable. But then, one night, Sterger received a picture on her phone which was so shocking that she just tossed it across the room. It was his dick. Brett Favre’s dick. And it happened multiple times. In fact, Sterger claims that, in one of the photos Favre allegedly sent her, he’s masturbating — while wearing a pair of Crocs. In another photo, Favre is holding his penis while wearing the wristwatch he wore during his first teary-eyed retirement press conference.

The actual cock shots have not been released and who cares if they are? I don’t know about you, but I’d be perfectly happy going to my grave without seeing Brett Favre’s cock.

Just the image of him masturbating with a pair of Crocs on kind of makes me want to stab myself in the ear repeatedly.

However, it’s good to get confirmation from another source that Brett is the piece of shit we know him to be.

On another note, Favre’s indiscretions were always a badly kept secret when he played for the Green Bay Packers. They were whispered about, but never discussed openly, particularly in the media. It’s understood they nearly cost him his marriage.

Wonder what Deanna is thinking right about now? And I wonder what implications this might have on his decision to play football this season?

My guess is, either she tells him to get the fuck out and he goes to Minnesota, or “his ankle isn’t up to the task” and he stays home to try and save his marriage.

That is, unless Deanna is just so in love with the money and the spotlight (and yeah, we’re pretty sure she is), she’s willing to just ignore the whole situation.

It would be a pretty lonely existence for Lord Favre sans football and sans wife rotting away in the Mississippi heat, wouldn’t it? I think that’s just about what he deserves, though.

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