Brett Favre Is Saddened, Might Cry

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Brett Favre is so not a drama queen. Just ask him.

His Lord and Majesty Brett Favre couldn’t go one day without any Brett Favre news, so he had to do what he does best, and manufacture some.

In a recent Men’s Journal feature, Favre’s agent, Bus Cook, called Favre a drama queen, which, as we all know, is waaaaaaaaaay off base.

What did Favre do to provoke this reaction from Cook? Well, he manufactured some Brett Favre news by telling ESPN’s Ed Werder he needed to have surgery on his ankle.

Oh, wait. If you believe Favre, which we totally do, he had no idea telling Werder this information would produce a flurry of media activity.

“Aww shucks, I’m just a dumb hayseed from Hattiesburg, Mississippi,” Favre said. “I don’t know how my actions affect other people, huh-hul.”

Anyway, when Favre read the article he was none to happy with the writer, Stephen Rodrick, presumably because no one is allowed to portray Lord Favre in even the slightest negative light. Lord Favre is, after all, the king of the sporting world, completely without ego and can do no wrong.

“The guy spent a day with us,” Favre said. ”I filmed the Wrangler commercial that day. We joked around, really, it was a joking around day. You know Bus [Cook]. You know me. We opened up our family lives to him. I guess the lesson to be learned in all that is … I hate to even say it. It’s just that you can’t trust anybody. Because, that’s not the way I was raised.”

A melancholy Favre put his head in his hands and burst into tears after making the statement.

That’s true, Brett. You can’t trust anybody.

Can’t trust them not to stab you in the back.

Can’t trust them not to hold a childish grudge.

Can’t trust them not to get in bed with your arch enemy.

Thank god that’s not the way you were raised.

You stupid fucking hayseed.


About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

38 Comments on "Brett Favre Is Saddened, Might Cry"

  1. Enough already

    Enough with the Favre bashing already. The reporter from Men’s Journal spun the story like a prick.
    By the way, this blog sucks because of entries such as this one.
    And next time we talk about deadlines for decisions, Why don’t you report on a deadline for Ted T. to announce his coming out of the closet.

    • HAHAHAHAHHA! You’re saying Ted Thompson is gay! HAHAHA! Zing! Got ’em. Homophobia works every time. Good one. I’m telling all my friends about this.

  2. Abe Frohman

    Shame on you Monty. Matt Fox and self proclaimed “accomplished” playwrite Jeff Iricink might cry now, too. How dare we say anything against Lord Favre. Don’t you know or appreciate all that he’s done for us? He hired Ron Wolf and Mike Holmgren and manufactured his own trade from Atlanta after threatening to retire his rookie year. He negotiated the free agent deal for Reggie White. He got off his tractor to personally do all the renovation work at Lambeau after tirelessly fundraising to pay his own salary.

  3. tequila

    Enough Already, that’s enough already. Stop posting on crappy blogs all day like a loser, or are you doing this from your phone while waiting for a delicious sandwich at Quiznos? Real men post on blogs they actually like. And don’t eat at Quiznos.

    Shit, sorry guys I have been doing other things rather than obsessing about Favre’s penis. I missed that Jeff was a play write? This is amazing news.

    With the Favre-a-palooza in full swing this blog is right on target. Agree or not agree at least we have the balls to say what millions are thinking. Total Packers stance is Brett Favre can suck it.

  4. jeremy

    I think Doug Martsch’s words apply to Favre.

    “You can’t trust anyone because your untrustable. How can you trust someone you know can’t trust you?”

  5. matt fox

    Abe, you ask me why i defend favre so much. Maybe it’s because EVERY OTHER ARTICLE on this site is about Brett Favre. LIke it never stops. And yet I have to hear you guys proclaim that youre over it and so happy with Rodgers. But then why do you keep talking about Favre?!?!?!?

    • jeremy

      You don’t have to hear anything. You choose to read this blog knowing that a solid percantage of the articles here are going to rip on Favre. I’m sure somewhere there’s a blog that kisses Favre’s ass daily and justifies his every move. That one is obviously for you, go there!

    • Because Brett Favre is a piece of shit (like you) who fucked over th e good people of wisconsin after they paid him millions of dollars to play “the game he loves” for 16 years.


      Go french kiss Jeff Ircink unwipped asshole!!

  6. matt fox

    PackerfaninFL, I don’t know who at the mentally challenged hospital keeps letting you use a computer, but could you hit them for me?

  7. Abe Frohman

    How many times can you say “Jolly is a dumb ass” or “Aaron Rodgers is awesome”? Every other article on this site is about Favre becuase he’s the most notable piece of news going in the NFL right now – as he likes it. If he didn’t, all he’d have to say was “I’ll be at camp on X date” and the whole circus would be over until Chilly comes to pick him up from the airport.

    We rip on him because it’s FUN. It’s entertainment. Stop taking it so damn personally. Do you think Brett’s going to mail you tickets and say “thanks for sticking up for me on”

  8. Pablo

    “I won’t come back, not even if I get the itch.” – Brett Favre after his retirement from the Jets.

    We can’t trust Brett Favre. These parasites that cling to Favre’s underbelly are the worst kind of fans. I don’t care how good the guy was/is, he’s a dishonest, selfish little weisel who obviously doesn’t give a crap about his fans. So if he doesn’t make an exception for you, don’t make one for him. Goodness have some dignity.

  9. tequila


    “I won’t come back, not even if I get the itch.” – Brett Favre after his retirement from the Jets.
    We can’t trust Brett Favre. These parasites that cling to Favre’s underbelly are the worst kind of fans. I don’t care how good the guy was/is, he’s a dishonest, selfish little weisel who obviously doesn’t give a crap about his fans. So if he doesn’t make an exception for you, don’t make one for him. Goodness have some dignity.

    Well said Pablo. It’s just going to be sad this year handing Favre two losses from the terrible, terrible people of Green Bay, long known for being the worst people in the history of sports…wait that’s not right…hmm….wait…smells more like justice.

    And Zubi is back commenting! Thanks for posting that video, I was at that game and love me some Green Bay Packers!!!!

  10. jeff ircink

    abe…i know how to spell “playwright”, at least. and i never said anything about “accomplished” in what i wrote. i said i was produced and published. like the media, you seem to spin things to fit your agenda.

    are we still arguing about how this site blogs too much about Favre? ’cause he’s newsworthy? you guys are no better than the media pigs who rip on Favre, yet drool over a Favre story. hey, this blog can do what it wants. i just think – and many people agree (including Packer fans) – that this site spends too much time on an ex-Packer. why? cause you’re bitter about him leaving. it’s simple. if you didn’t care about him, you wouldn’t write about him.

  11. jeff ircink

    “unwipped asshole”. hahahaha. that’s funny, PackerFanINFL. i also like what you wrote about how Favre screwed the good people of WI. that’s funny.

  12. jeff ircink

    abe – now saying you pick on Favre cause it’s entertaining and fun to make fun of him…THAT i can see. hmmmm….interesting.

    you do realize then that if that were the stance of this site, then this site loses all credibility as a Packer website, right?

    pax for a second. i’ll admit we Favre fans get emotional and uptight when it comes to BF. i admit that. perhaps “overboard”. but you have to admit that our fervor only matches the hatred that the non-Favre fans display, no?

  13. Matt Fox

    It certainly was entertaining last season when the packers got beat by Favre twice.

    Also, besides holding the ball for 20 hours, do you guys like how instead of just taking the sack, Aaron Rodgers actually flipped the ball to the defender? And that the blitz came from the strong side so that Rodgers could see it coming and did it anyway? Priceless.

  14. tequila

    Oh poor Matt, you still think Favre is a team. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I honestly think you need therapy. In your mind a multimillionaire sports ‘hero’, loved by many and revered by even more, somehow needs to be defended. That’s sick. Are you on the board at BP too?

  15. matt fox

    Yes, I like football, and Brett Favre, so it would make sense that I’m on the board at BP. Actually, after a screw up so egregious as Aaron Rodgers made, maybe he’s on the boad of BP! You support a qb who is destroying our country? You sick muther fucker.

  16. matt fox

    By the way, until Aaron Rodgers can actually beat Favre, Aaron Rodgers is also Favre’s bitch. Favre’s his daddy.

  17. tequila

    Matt, you are not very smart and I am sorry that I wasted time on you. Good luck with your team this year…wait, you still don’t have one.

    Is Brett’s ankle a team too?

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