Brett Favre Is Saddened, Might Cry
His Lord and Majesty Brett Favre couldn’t go one day without any Brett Favre news, so he had to do what he does best, and manufacture some.
In a recent Men’s Journal feature, Favre’s agent, Bus Cook, called Favre a drama queen, which, as we all know, is waaaaaaaaaay off base.
What did Favre do to provoke this reaction from Cook? Well, he manufactured some Brett Favre news by telling ESPN’s Ed Werder he needed to have surgery on his ankle.
Oh, wait. If you believe Favre, which we totally do, he had no idea telling Werder this information would produce a flurry of media activity.
“Aww shucks, I’m just a dumb hayseed from Hattiesburg, Mississippi,” Favre said. “I don’t know how my actions affect other people, huh-hul.”
Anyway, when Favre read the article he was none to happy with the writer, Stephen Rodrick, presumably because no one is allowed to portray Lord Favre in even the slightest negative light. Lord Favre is, after all, the king of the sporting world, completely without ego and can do no wrong.
“The guy spent a day with us,” Favre said. ”I filmed the Wrangler commercial that day. We joked around, really, it was a joking around day. You know Bus [Cook]. You know me. We opened up our family lives to him. I guess the lesson to be learned in all that is … I hate to even say it. It’s just that you can’t trust anybody. Because, that’s not the way I was raised.”
A melancholy Favre put his head in his hands and burst into tears after making the statement.
That’s true, Brett. You can’t trust anybody.
Can’t trust them not to stab you in the back.
Can’t trust them not to hold a childish grudge.
Can’t trust them not to get in bed with your arch enemy.
Thank god that’s not the way you were raised.
You stupid fucking hayseed.
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