Jared Allen

Jared Allen: more ass slapping

It’s not surprising that the Minnesota Vikings want quarterback Brett Favre back next season. Despite his soul crushing, game-ending NFC Championship game interception that made those of us in the Green Bay Packers camp giddy like a child on Christmas morning, Favre had a pretty nice year – a lot nicer year than Tarvaris Jackson could have in a wet dream.

And in addition to that, some members of the Vikings apparently like it when Favre slaps them on the ass, which, outside of retiring and then unretiring, seems to be one of his favorite things to do.

That brings me to the hillbilly deluxe, Vikings defensive end Jared Allen, who uttered this brilliant comment when asked about Favre, last week.

“Silver fox,” Allen pleaded on NFL Network. “Everything but my backside loves you, but if you come back, I will let you slap my rear end every single day. In no way gay at all, but I will take that stinging pain and I will eat it every day.”

So…

Jared Allen will eat Brett Favre’s ass slaps every day.

First, we now know Brett Favre REALLY likes slapping other dudes on the ass, so much so that it might get him to play another year.

Second, I can’t imagine how such an offer wouldn’t immediately trigger Favre’s return. Then again, it’s early. There’s much more waffling to do. Favre has to retire first, so he can then unretire. Ultimately, we imagine if the “Silver Fox” decides to return Jared Allen’s invitation to slap him on the ass every day will probably be the deciding factor because hey, these are the Minnesota Vikings we’re talking about.

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