Minnesota Vikings: Raising Them Classy
Well, now we know why. Not only do they breed them that way, they teach them the ways of the douchebag at a young age. It’s a wonder anyone from Minnesota can escape this environment of mouth-breathery that’s forced upon them from childhood to become anything other than a car thief or a 7-Eleven clerk.
Oh, wait. They can’t.
Anyway, here’s an example of how they do it.
While mom and dad are dumping a 12-pack of Schmidt down their throat, they throw out a dummy of the opposing team’s quarterback, which their children attack like rabid dogs, kicking, punching and biting until kickoff. Then, the family goes inside the Metrodome, where the kids hold their parents’ beers and often drink from them because mom and dad can’t afford pop. Sometime around the third quarter, the oldest child is left in charge of their brethren so mom and dad can retire to a bathroom stall to produce Danny a new brother.
Obviously there’s some pent up frustration when you haven’t won a championship in… ever.
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