Brad Childress – Too Good to Be True!

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It’s no secret that we like to make fun of certain things and people here at Total Packers. Two of the things that get our panties wet is when the Minnesota Vikings screw up and when Vikings’ coach Brad Childress says something stupid, which, now that we think of it, is pretty much every time he opens his mouth.

But sometimes even Brad Childress’ idiocy surpasses itself (go ahead and try to wrap your head around that paradox), and that’s why Brad Childress is just too good to be true.

Yesterday, Chilly told reporters that he hopes that Brett Favre has a “serial-killer mentality” for Monday night’s game with the Green Bay Packers. You read that right.

Serial killer mentality.

Here’s the actual comment right from the child molester, I mean… Brad Childress, himself.

“He’s an emotional guy and I’m sure there will be a wave of emotion before the game and then kind of hopefully a cold, kind of a serial-killer mentality when the game starts.”

Uh huh…

I don’t even know what to say.

So, Brett should go out and start murdering people when he gets on the field? I think that’s a little harsh, even for a member of a shitty, never-won-anything franchise like the Vikings. I know this is a rivalry game that’s been intensified by Favre’s defection to Minnesota, but I’m not sure this is the answer, Chilly.

The only other time I can remember someone murdering someone else on a football field was when the Los Angeles Stallions’ Billy Cole shot three Cleveland Cats players on his way to the end zone and then offed himself. Cole was also on PCP and heavily involved in gambling.

And hell, I’m not even sure that really happened.

So I guess if Favre takes off for the end zone, the Packers should just get out of the way and live to fight another day. Unless, that is, Favre is one of those serial killer types like Michael Myers, where he just kind of loafs around and allows his victims fright and sheer ineptitude to run to safety without falling down 500 times to eventually allow him to make the kill.

In that case, I think the Packers defense is going eat Favre alive. I mean, Michael Myers wasn’t exactly know for the fleetness of his feet. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the guy run. So if Favre is gonna be that kind of serial killer, then he’s likely to get sacked about 85 times and the Packers should win by about 150.

So what does Brett think?

“I am going to go out there with an Uzi and blow some holes through some motherfuckers! I am gonna kill them so many times that their kids’ kids are gonna die! Then me and Ragnar are going to eat their guts for dinner! Yeah! Vikings forever!” Favre said in a dream I had the other night.

Actually, Favre really said this.

“Serial killer mentality?” Favre said. “I don’t know if I would have put it that way, but I just want to play the way I played last week [against San Francisco]. With a few more improvements. There are a few plays that I could have made last week. … I don’t know how many games I’ve played in, but this game is no different than the fourth game I played in last year. In reality, this is a Monday night game. Yeah, that’s the only game playing and there is more excitement because of that game, but you can’t treat it any differently. Trying to keep your emotions in check any time is part of it.”

Thanks for confirming what we always knew, Brett: Brad Childress = Idiot.


About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

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