An Ode To Charles Martin
Well, the shit talking has started in earnest. I’ve been hearing drivel come out of the mouths of Chicago Bears’ fans for two days now – not that it’s anything different than what normally comes out of their mouths, but now they are directing it towards me and my beloved Green Bay Packers.
I usually just invite them to come and watch the game with me on Sunday night, because I feel pretty confident about the outcome. Not surprisingly, they decline.
I can’t say I despise Bears’ fans like I do Vikings’ fans. Unlike Vikings’ fans, Bears’ fans usually know something about football when they’re not all lathered up and rubbing their vaginas about the Bears. And unlike Vikings’ fans, their team has actually won games that mean something in the last century. Hell, I will even admit that I have some friends who are Bears’ fans… when they’re not blathering nonsensically about the Bears.
But this week – friendships are off.
And because I am sick of your bullshit already Chicago Bears’ fan, I bring you this: Charles Martin.
You remember my man Charles, don’t you? Of course you do.
On November 23, 1986 Martin took the field against the Chicago Bears with a “hit list” on the towel that hung from his waist. On top of that list was the number nine – the digit worn by one Funky QB, Jim McMahon. During the game, Packers cornerback Mark Lee intercepted a McMahon pass. As McMahon was trotting towards the sidelines (because McMahon didn’t make tackles) Martin ran after him and body slammed him into the Soldier Field turf. McMahon landed on his shoulder and his season was over.
Some people say it was the biggest cheap shot ever. Whether that’s true is debatable, but either way, Martin’s hit was a pretty classless play and he was ejected from the game and suspended for two more.
A lot of Bears’ fans will tell you Martin’s hit essentially eliminated Chicago’s chances for a Super Bowl repeat in 1986, and thus a dynasty.
The Chicago Sun Times named Martin Chicago’s most notorious nemesis in August, topping the Detroit Pistons “Bad Boys” teams.
The Bears would go on to finish 14-2. But without McMahon, they were upset by the Washington Redskins 27-13 in the playoffs, as Doug Flutie threw a key interception that set up the game-winning touchdown.
Bears fans, dreaming of a dynasty, only could wonder what might have happened if McMahon had stayed healthy. And that’s why Charles Martin is the most notorious nemesis in Chicago sports history.
While I certainly don’t condone cheap shots, this puts a smile on my face.
And so I leave you with these words:
Fuck you, Chicago. Stop your fucking blathering and let’s see how it plays out on the field on Sunday night.