Archive for September, 2009
Charles Woodson – Your NFC Defensive Player of the Month
Sep 30th
As first reported by Jason Wilde of ESPN Milwaukee, Charles Woodson – or as we like to call him, Chuckles – will be named NFC Defensive Player of the Month, tomorrow. Woodson is tied for the league lead in interceptions with three, one of which he returned for a touchdown. Woodson also, inexplicably (this will [...]
Taking a Time Out for Some Chicago Bears Delusion
Sep 30th
I about crapped right in my pants when I read this headline from the Chicago Tribune. You ready for this? “Is Jay Cutler the second coming of Tom Brady?” That’s a real headline. Seriously. My sides hurt from laughing. Anyway, in this brilliant article Rick Morrissey deftly explains why Cutler, the Chicago Bears savior, may [...]
Why Fret About Brett?
Sep 30th
Let me pose a question. Why fret about Brett? Really. I admit there has been a lot of hype and drama over the last year and a half; even the last five years with Brett Favre’s “will he or won’t he retire” game. Personally, I was really upset over Brett’s decision to retire from the [...]
Chad Clifton Could Return This Week, Levi Jones Visits
Sep 29th
That’s right, it’s Tuesday, and you know what that means at Total Packers – tackle-related news day! Yes, it’s that exciting day when we discuss what’s going on with the Green Bay Packers’ right and left tackle positions, and boy, have we got some humdingers for you this week! First, to left tackle where the [...]
Packers vs. Vikings: Let the Bullshit Fest Begin
Sep 29th
It’s only Tuesday, and already the spin machine is churning in anticipation of next Monday night’s meeting between the Green Bay Packers and the Minnesota Vikings at the MetroBarn. Of course, Vikings’ coach Brad Childress’ latest comments are the lamest from either side, telling reporters the team’s Winter Park facility “won’t be vibrating” this week [...]
Welcome Back, Detroit
Sep 28th
Look, we have no love for the Detroit Lions here at Total Packers, but it was good to see them break their 18-game losing streak yesterday. The Lions won’t be contending for the NFC North title anytime soon, but it looks like they will at least be competitive in most of the games they play [...]
The Brett Favre Effect
Sep 28th
They may not be able to sell many more season tickets because, let’s face it, the Minnesota Vikings have the worst fans in the world, but they are a hell of a lot better team with Brett Favre playing quarterback. Despite what I think of him personally, Favre’s game-winning throw to Greg Lewis yesterday was [...]
Packers Shape Up, But It’s Only the Rams
Sep 28th
The Green Bay Packers got a much needed win on Sunday, and the team looked better than it did the previous week against the Cincinnati Bengals. However, it should be pointed out that the St. Louis Rams are one of the worst teams in football. Still, a win is a win, and although the game [...]
Has Favre Put the Packers On the Hot Seat?
Sep 25th
Sometimes, well… most of the time, no… all of the time, we wish Brett Favre would just keep his piehole shut. No, this has nothing to do with his aw shucks, good-ole-boy act or what he is or isn’t saying to Green Bay Packers fans. This has to do with very serious consequences the Packers [...]
Injuries Will Play Huge Roll for Packers the Next Two Weeks
Sep 24th
Each year in the NFL, the most successful teams do one of two things – they either don’t have injuries, or they overcome injuries. That’s not to say that those successful teams don’t also have other things in common – they have positive turnover margins, they limit penalties, etc. But without fail, they do one [...]
Ochocinco Had Plants!
Sep 24th
I’m sure you were thinking what the rest of us were thinking when Cincinnati Bengals’ receiver Chad Ochocinco did the Lambeau Leap on Sunday – what scumbags from Green Bay sold those idiots their tickets? Well, we may never know how the transaction went down, and with good reason. If I were the asshole who [...]
Simmer Down Now, Simmer Down
Sep 23rd
Some great words of wisdom tonight from the Press-Gazette’s Mike Vandermause, who tells rabid Green Bay Packers’ fans something I’ve repeated many times already this week: Calm the heck down people! Admittedly, this is quite the turnaround from Vandermause’s Sept. 20 column “No quick fix can solve this mess,” which may have even spurred some [...]
Packers Inexplicably Cut Aaron Rouse
Sep 23rd
I guess this is fighting fire with fire. If your team is dangerously thin at safety, what do you do? Cut one of your remaining safeties and sign one who has never played in your system, that’s what. At least if you’re Green Bay Packers’ general manager Ted Thompson. Look, I have been a Ted [...]
Nick Barnett Is Frustrated, And So Are We
Sep 23rd
You might have heard that Green Bay Packers’ linebacker Nick Barnett quit Twitter this week, after what some might consider an online meltdown. Barnett first stated his displeasure with the rotation at linebacker – one that on the inside includes himself, A.J. Hawk, Brandon Chillar and presumably, Desmond Bishop. This was the actual tweet, misspellings [...]
Jay Cutler – Drunk, Stoned, or Just Dumb?
Sep 22nd
By now, I’m sure you’ve caught the replay of Jay Cutler getting his helmet knocked off by the referee on Sunday. You know, the one where Cutler is seemingly oblivious to the guy standing right in front of him waving his arms. We mentioned before how Cutler always seems to look drunk, and this only [...]
At Least We’re Not Detroit Lions Fans
Sep 22nd
Or, perhaps more accurately, at least we’re not this Detroit Lions’ fan. Sure, the Green Bay Packers had a terrible day on Sunday, and have a lot of issues that need to be addressed, but things could be worse. I don’t think anyone had a worse day, with possibly the exception of Daryn Colledge, than [...]
The Green Bay Packers Are Bad
Sep 21st
There, I said it. The Green Bay Packers are bad, and it’s depressing. It’s become pretty apparent why the Green Bay Packers are bad, too, after a 31-24 loss to the Cincinnati Bengals at Lambeau Field. This is a Bengals team that scored seven points last week against the Denver Broncos. That’s seven points against [...]
Bengals 31, Packers 24 – Observations and Opinions
Sep 21st
To quote The Jeffrey Lebwoski, the plan has crashed into the mountain. More painfully one sided than the close score suggests, yesterday’s Green Bay Packers’ 31-24 defeat to the lowly Cincinnati Bengals exposed more weaknesses and vulnerabilities for the Packers. The Packers’ offensive line play was even shakier than last week and aside from a [...]
Good Morning From Total Packers
Sep 20th
Hi. We’re not going to beat around the bush this morning. We wanted to live blog during the game, but fuck. We’re fucking hungover. I don’t mean that we got really drunk last night, because hell, we certainly did that. I mean, we got really fucking drunk last night, and then had a bunch of [...]
The Last Time An Opposing Player Did The Lambeau Leap
Sep 19th
As we mentioned yesterday, Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chad Ochocinco wants to do the Lambeau Leap when he comes to town this Sunday. Well, maybe Ochocinco had better think again. The last opposing player to try a Lambeau Leap wasn’t received so warmly. His name was Fred Smoot. He played cornerback for the Minnesota Vikings. After [...]
