In Other News, The Lions Still Suck

164 0
Kevin Smith – always high.

While the ESPN’s of the world are pouring every bit of manpower into monitoring a certain quarterback’s broken throwing arm (by the way, he is either getting surgery, not getting surgery, talking to doctors, coming back, or not coming back, depending on who you read), we’ve been off doing more important offseason activities, like visiting family, getting drunk at beer gardens and hanging out at the Playboy Mansion.

In short, we’ve failed to give a shit about the former Green Bay Packers quarterback in question or any of the so-called “reporting” surrounding him for the past week. We don’t plan on giving a shit about Brett Favre for the rest of this week, either.

All of that aside, it’s good to know that Detroit Lions running back Kevin Smith is an idiot. Smith recently launched a blog, where he made the following bold prediction:

I won’t make a prediction about how many games we’re going to win, but I will say this: We will definitely make the playoffs this season.

This, of course, from a guy who plays for a team that won a grand total of zero games last year. But hey, Smith’s logic is sound. He goes on…

Believe it or not we weren’t far off last year. Almost every game we could have won, we were one play or one player short. Except for Tennessee on Thanksgiving, they just came out and beat us to sleep. They manhandled us, but nobody else did.

Smith is absolutely right. Good teams routinely lose 16 games in a season. One or two plays is all that really separated the Lions from pulling out 15 of those contests. The Lions seeming futility was really just bad luck – a whole year’s worth – not bad management, bad coaching and bad players.

You did finish 30th in the league in total offense. Only 29 of the other 31 NFL teams were ahead of you. You were 32nd in total defense, which isn’t bad.

I mean, hell, I can totally see where you’re coming from. You, Kevin Smith – the pride of Central Florida – ARE going to the playoffs this year.

Quick, get to Vegas and place that bet!


About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

No Comments on "In Other News, The Lions Still Suck"

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *